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NEW DEBUT:Full Circle To The Truth Pt. 2 (9/10)(NC-17) AUTHOR: Des EMAIL ADDRESS: des826@internetconnect.net Disclaimer in Section 1 Scully's Office "Wrong number?" her assistant asked. "I suppose. Why don't you go ahead and knock off for the night, Matt?Don't you have a hot date tonight?" Matt blushed, then smiled, wishing he DID have a hot date - with his brainy, beautiful boss. "Just with my computer. I have a report to complete," he said, gathering his folders and putting on his coat. "But who knows... the night's still young," he quipped, picking up his folders while attempting to be witty...and tripped over his chair. "Well," he said, catching himself before he hit the floor, and backing toward the door, "good night, Agent Scully." "Goodnight Matt," Scully said, hiding a smile. As she heard her assistant leave the office, she thought about that last phone call. That was Mulder. She was sure of it. Why did he call? And why wouldn't he answer? She'd done things like that - in her teenage years - when she just wanted to hear the voice of the guy she had a crush on. Was that what he was doing? Wasn't it enough that he had her in an agony of desire, hardly able to concentrate on anything but what it would feel like to be his lover? She found herself reliving that wonderful, terrifying orgasm again and again today. He was starting to convince her that she was a woman of passion. That she already *was* the seductress she secretly dreamed she could someday be. She'd never come that hard in her entire life. And she wanted more. She wanted him. And she knew he wanted her too. But SHE had to come to HIM. And she still wasn't sure how she felt about that. It was the one thing that kept her in her chair, stopping her from finishing what he started. Was this a power play? Mulder had never been that way before, but if not that, then what was this about? Her mind went back to his words after he'd made her come. He said, "GOD I need that from you," she thought, a dawning awareness coursing through her as she finally understood. She'd walked away from him! And he was afraid! Jesus! Why didn't she catch that? She thought she'd taken care of that when she told him she loved him that night in the rain. Why was she surprised that he was still insecure? She was too. He still had no answer for her concerning Diana. How could they take that final step towards intimacy, with this ...barrier still between them. She finally realized that she could go to him-but he had to meet her halfway. She couldn't -- no wouldn't -- do it by herself. Picking up her coat, Scully finally knew what she had to do. < Get ready Mulder> she thought, determined < because I'm coming for you.> XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder's Apartment Building Mulder looked at his watch as he jabbed the up button for the elevator for the umpteenth time in 5 minutes. < What the hell is taking so long...shit!> Mulder thought. It was probably turned off, since everyone was supposed to be gone. With a sigh, Mulder started up the stairs, wondering if he should just get a change of clothes and find a motel to stay in for a few days. He patted his pockets looking for his keys while walking, not able to fully comprehend how drastically his view of his life had changed. He now understood completely why Scully walked away. He needed to get his priorities straight if he was to ever get her back into his life. He knew she was important, but the degree was a shock - even to him. And after the events of the day, he just couldn't deny that there was something more going on with Diana than she was letting on. On top of that, she seemed hell bent making sure that the rift that had developed between Scully and himself become permanent. It appeared that Scully had been right all along. The conversation with the CSM, Diana's pass, hell - even his conversation with Agent Williams - all combined to show him how much Scully meant to him. He hurt when Diana left but if he was honest with himself, there had been something missing between them for a long time. The bottom line was - he just didn't have to adjust all that much to Diana's absence, and it most certainly never diminished his interest in the X-Files. But Scully's absence had shattered him, more than even he was aware of. He understood now that he'd called her to the warehouse that day, because that was the only way he could keep up any enthusiasm on the case. He was a liar. He'd told her that he couldn't continue on the X-Files alone, but in reality he couldn't continue the X-files without her. Stopping at his doorway, he closed his eyes. He had to tell her. He had to at least try. Forgetting about the fact that not a half hour ago, he couldn't even bring himself to say a word to her, he knew that somehow *now* he had to find the words. His future depended on it. Turning around, Mulder headed back down the stairs, clearing the first landing, rounding to the second, then stopped... Because the woman he was going to see was standing at the bottom of the landing. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Scully," Mulder said, surprised. "I was coming to see you. Is something wrong? Are you alright?" "Your elevator isn't working." "The building is being fumigated tomorrow. Everyone was supposed to gone by tonight, so they turned off the elevator." "Well, why are you still here?" "I had nowhere to go," he said truthfully. He faced her across the landing, trying to figure out what combination of emotions he was observing in her eyes. "So...why are you here Scully? Did you come for me?" he asked hopefully. Scully was shocked at how apprehensive she was. God! She loved this man. But Dana Scully was no coward and it was time to face her demons. Trembling, Scully took a deep breath and asked the question whose answer would decide her future happiness. "How do you feel about Diana? I need an answer, Mulder." < Oh Shit> Mulder's heart dropped into his stomach. This was it. Scully had enough. If he said the wrong thing, he could really lose her now. Despite the fact that she'd already let him know that she both wanted and loved him, he knew she was capable of turning around and walking away, never fulfilling either promise. And he'd be lost. "I don't feel about her the way I feel about you," he said ineptly. "That's not telling me anything Mulder." "That didn't come out right." "Why can't you just answer the question Mulder? I've been asking you this since this whole thing started and all you've done is give me excuses. You have been spending a great deal of time with her I would imagine, since she is now your partner. Why is it so hard for you to give me an answer? Do you have any idea how you feel?" "That's why I was coming to you. I do know. What was between Diana and I is in the past." "Dammit, Mulder! How do you feel?" "I...still...care about her." That hurt, but was expected. Mulder was nothing if not loyal. Scully pressed on. "Enough to pick up where you left off?" "No, not in that way," he said decisively, remembering his earlier, similar remarks to Diana. "Do you love her?" < This was sticky> "Not in the way I think you mean." "But you do love her?" "She was a large part of my life, so I guess a part of me will always love her." "Enough that those feelings could effect your judgement?" "You're talking about me not seeing anything sinister about Diana." "I'm talking about you not trusting me enough to at least consider the evidence." "You misunderstood Scully, and that might have been my fault. My defense of Diana had nothing to do with you or a lack of trust." "How can you say that Mulder? Do you remember what you said to me at the Lone Gunmen's place? You wouldn't listen-" "Hold on Scully. Do you want to know where I went directly after that conversation? To Diana's hotel." "For what purpose," Scully asked, trying to quiet her suddenly nervous stomach. "I went looking for evidence that Diana's interest in the X-Files was hiding some other agenda." "And what did you find?" "Nothing. But just the fact that I'd gone there to begin with, should tell you just how much I do trust you." "And you didn't think that was important enough to tell me?" "I've already admitted that I'm at fault here, Scully. But you have it wrong if you think that I was believing her over you." "What was it then?" "It was more about...me trying to be fair to you both. And maybe me being too scared of losing you to make any move at all. You don't know Diana like I do, but you have your opinions and suspicions about her. I would be unfair to her if I acted on those suspicions without seeing them myself. And the same rule applies to her, when it comes to you. I couldn't do either and live with myself but living with myself came with a high price...you. Please Scully, try to understand." "Mulder, I do understand. I remember that time Skinner was implicated in a murder. I was following the evidence, but you immediately suspected that he was framed. You...never once doubted him. Even though he didn't appreciate or even want your faith in him. Then there was 'Deep Throat.' You trusted him even though there were times when you knew he lied to you. But you knew he was a believer and you stuck with him. That's why it hurt so much when you didn't believe me." "But Scully-" "Mulder. You just asked me to try to understand, but you're not doing the same. Have you once tried looking at this situation >from my point of view? You say you did consider my opinions enough to go over to Diana's apartment and check them out yourself. But do you tell me that?" "Well...no, but-" "Did you give me any indication either in word or deed that you were taking me seriously?" "I just told you I did!" "I'm not asking what you thought or even what you felt at the time. I'm asking you what you did and said!" "But I explained that Scully." "This is NOT about you! I'm asking you to try to understand what it looked like to me! Can't you see where I might get the impression that you didn't believe me?" "Alright yes, Scully," he said, starting to get angry at being interrogated. "Did I pass the quiz or do I have to stay after class?" "I'm sorry. I just need answers and you seem either incapable or unwilling to give them to me! All I've been asking you is to tell me the truth about Diana. We don't have a future until you do." "How much do you need Scully, because the truth's not always easy." "What the hell does that mean?" "That means that this is *real* life Scully, and it tends to be complicated, sticky and irrational. There isn't any science to hide behind here." < You bastard> "Why don't you try me?" she said sarcastically. "I realize now that I just needed something to help clarify the feelings that were already there. The help I needed came two- fold." "How so?" "Well, Big Daddy Spender was instrumental, amazingly enough, in helping me to achieve some clarity. Apparently, I've been a little lost these past weeks - more than usual I suppose - and it's been noticeable enough for Big Daddy to give me a little pep-talk within the hallowed halls of the FBI." "Meaning?" "He reminded me that this wasn't the first time I'd lost a partner. Diana had left me too and I'd survived - prospered even." "And...?" "It didn't hurt me like this." "I don't understand," she said, trying not to feel guilty. "I've been through this before, Scully. I'd lost a partner that I was not only emotionally but physically involved with, but my reaction then didn't even come close to what I'm suffering now. Only I've been too busy with that suffering to realize it. I've been so lost. I just spend my time trying to get from one minute to the next, never stopping to think about the significance of how much effort it takes." "The significance?" "When Diana left, it hurt. At the time, I thought the pain I was feeling was appropriate to the situation and as the days went by, things got better. But when you left, I couldn't breathe. And I still can't." Scully's heart pounded as she was reminded of her conversation with Skinner. Didn't he say that Mulder was inconsolable when she was abducted? "That was the significance," Mulder continued. "What I was simply in too much pain to realize until today. Both Big Daddy and Diana helped me to understand that." "Diana helped you?" "Yes. Diana also helped to bring things into focus." "How?" "She decided to test the boundaries of the relationship." Scully simply raised her eyebrow in inquiry. "She kissed me." Scully closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to calm herself down. Just the thought of that bitch putting her hands on him made her want to commit murder! < But Diana's not here at the moment...and Mulder is> she thought, opening her eyes and realizing that he was still talking, though she had long since stopped listening. Scully took a deep breath. She closed her eyes again and tried to give herself a pep talk. < OK. You're Dana Katherine Scully. FBI Agent. Medical Doctor. You are the calm and reasonable one. You are more comfortable with the cerebral than the physical.> "Though it wasn't the first time she kissed me," Mulder continued, "it *was* the first time she'd made a pass, if you can understand that, and it was then that I realized the truth." Scully opened her eyes, looked at Mulder, and still saw red. < Fuck it!> Mulder never saw the punch coming. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor holding his jaw and scrambling to his feet trying to avoid her busy fists. He narrowly avoided a knee in the groin, but wasn't fast enough to duck her second punch which connected with his cheek. "Goddammit Scully," Mulder yelled, trying to get away from her. "Don't insult my intelligence, you bastard," she yelled back, winding up for another punch. Realizing it was in his best interest to go on the offensive if he wanted to survive this conversation, Mulder rushed her, grabbing her by the stomach and landing them both sprawled across the stairs. Scully fought furiously though she was pinned down by his weight. But her movements caused the inevitable reaction from Mulder, starting a fire in his groin that both embarrassed and angered him. He had no defense against her! Pinning her down with his legs, and grabbing both her arms and raising them high above her head, Mulder subdued her angry movements. "CUT IT OUT SCULLY!" "LET ME GO!" "How many times do I have to tell you - THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" Mulder yelled angrily. "Now stop it Scully or I swear I'll finish this right here," he threatened, grinding his hips into hers to prove he meant it. "You think you can insult me by throwing her in my face, you bastard," she spat at him. "I wasn't trying to insult you OR throw her in your face. I was trying to explain something to you." "I'm tired of this game Mulder," she said, the fight suddenly going out of her. "Scully, listen to me," he whispered in her ear. "I'm not playing anymore; I've had enough. Let me go. It was a mistake to come here." "I love you Scully," he said sincerely. "Dammit Mulder," Scully complained softly. There was no way she could deny his honesty. She could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. "I suppose I did from the moment I laid eyes on you. I even tried to tell you I how I felt, but you didn't believe me." "How could I? You were one person with me and another with Diana." "No-" "What happened when she kissed you Mulder?" For an answer, he kissed her deeply, sliding his tongue past any objection she might have, until she responded. "Nothing like that Scully. It's you," he whispered, laying his forehead on hers. "It's been you from the first," he said, pulling back to look into her eyes. "We had more from the beginning of us than - than..." he faltered, the words escaping him. This was a hell of a time for his anti-social tendencies to get in the way. He tried again. "What I have with you is more on a bad day than the best day with her. It took her pass to help me see it though - a fact she didn't appreciate. I would have seen it sooner if I hadn't been so preoccupied with getting you back. So take your best shot Scully. You can kick my ass if you want to, but you're not shaking me off. Just consider me a six-foot-one, 190 pound Rottweiler," he said, releasing her hands then sliding his palms down her arms, grazing her breast and stopping at her waist. "Do you believe me now?" "Believe what, Mulder?" "That I love you..." "Yes-" she started, but was stopped by a finger across her lips. "And that I am not in love with Diana." He kissed her again...just because he missed her taste. "I don't know how else to say it. I've been feeling like someone has ripped my heart out all this time, and was too much of an asshole to realize it's because my heart walked out of my life the day you transferred from the X-files. You...are...my...heart Scully," he said softly, stroking her hair. "And that's all of it. You are my heart." Then Mulder was silent. He'd done his best. There wasn't anything more to say. He was honest as he could be - more honest than was smart - she might still walk away at the worst, and he was pretty sure she was still going to kick his ass at the least. But he'd bared his soul. There was nothing more to say except... "I'm sorry Scully. For all of it." Scully stared into eyes that couldn't be more sincere. He'd bared his soul to her and she knew it. He could have lied - in fact, he probably should have - but he didn't. Now he was scared that his honesty would cost him her love. Nothing but his dishonesty would have done that. But could she forgive him? This was why she walked out on him. Because she knew he was would never make up his mind, or even begin to see Diana Fowley for who she really was, as long as he had them both. So she'd left. She'd known he had to go through Diana to complete the circle and there was no way in hell she was going to stand around and watch. But could she forgive him? "Scully?" Mulder asked hesitantly. She stared into his petrified eyes and thought < do I have a choice?> But Scully still didn't answer, knowing that each second of her silence was torture for him. She knew she was being mean, but she couldn't resist making him squirm for a little while. She could feel him literally shaking in fear, a fact she didn't even think he was aware of. And she was still trying to decide if she was going to kick his ass. Thinking furiously, Scully took her time and searched her emotions. What exactly did she feel when he told her that Diana made a pass? Hurt? No. The only thing that hurt was his telling her that some part of himself still cared about Diana, and even that was expected. But anger? Oh yes! She was beginning to think that she had been a little too civilized with Agent Fowley. Maybe she should have knocked her teeth down her throat when she showed up at her office today. It might not have helped the situation, but it certainly would have made her feel better. Scully shifted, a little uncomfortable. It finally registered that they were lying sprawled across the stairs. Mulder, realizing that he was resting his entire weight on her, turned until he was lying on his back with her on top of him. Pushing on his shoulders, Scully tried to pull away far enough so she could see his eyes, but Mulder wrapped his arms tightly around her in desperation. "Don't walk out on me Scully." "Mulder!" she said squirming. "Loosen up!" "You can kick my ass Scully, but don't leave." Removing her hands from his shoulders, Scully threaded her fingers in his hair and spoke softly. "Mulder, you're holding me too tightly." "Scully," he said desperately, rubbing his lips over hers, "don't leave." "Mul-" was all Scully was able to say as he devoured her lips. But as she continued to try to squirm out of his almost suffocating grip, she realized that he was really afraid she would leave him. She also realized that her squirming had aroused him. He was pressing into her belly insistently. Turning her head, she freed her lips from his and tried to break through his fear."Mulder, I'm not leaving...I'm not leaving" she said softly, over and over again in his ear until her voice penetrated his fear, and she felt him finally loosen his hold on her. "You're not?" "No. I was trying to decide whether or not to kick your ass, but...suddenly I have a better idea," she purred, smoothly sliding her tongue into his mouth. "Better idea?" he panted. "Umm," she said, nipping his bottom lip. "It's time Mulder, and I'm here." "Scully! What are you-" "Shut up Mulder," Scully whispered, slithering down his body like a cat, to bite his bottom lip. "Just shut up," she said, planting hot, wet, open-mouth kisses over, under, around, but never *on*, his lips. Mulder was instantly on fire. He didn't even have time to think - all he could do was feel. Frustration, right at the moment. He wanted those lips. "Scully please," he whispered desperately. "I have every intention of pleasing you Mulder. You AND me. Tonight," she said, sliding her tongue around the shell of his ear. He almost came right there. Taking deep breaths, Mulder tried to concentrate very hard on control and didn't notice that her hands were busy unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. Returning to his lips, Scully gave him what he asked for and slid her tongue deep into his mouth, almost making him lose what little control he'd gained. Wrapping his arms around her, Mulder was again lost in her, returning her kiss stroke for stroke. Scully broke off, nibbling and sucking on his neck, and whispered, "You got your wish Agent Mulder. I came to you. Now I want YOU to come for me." And slid down his body, taking his hard, thick cock deep into her mouth, and sucking him with a strong rhythm. Merciless. As he had been underneath her desk. She flattened her tongue and opened her throat, sucking in his whole length and heard him growl her name. Like an animal. She could feel him shaking and moaning with pleasure as she sucked him in and out of her mouth, and turned up the heat. Sliding her mouth up his hard length, she swirled her tongue around the tip, while using her hand to cup his balls. He shuddered. Using one hand to continue stroking him, she lowered her mouth to the base of this cock, and started sucking - then licking - his balls, first one...then the other. He moaned, straining. Realizing he was on the edge, Scully became even more relentless - taking him full into her mouth, sucking him strongly and moving up and down his shaft, using her tongue to stroke his pleasure vein on every trip. Soon he could no longer control his hips and started pumping his cock in and out of her hot, wet mouth. "Yes Scully! Please!" Mulder begged incoherently. Scully was ruthless, taking in more of his length and sucking him harder.....then sucking him faster, sliding her hands underneath his ass, and moving his hips to her fast and furious rhythm. She could feel him getting harder and thicker.... "ScullyI'm gonna comeScully," he said deliriously, over and over again, as every muscle in his body strained toward orgasm. Dana felt him tense and hollowed her cheeks again, flattening her tongue even more and grabbed his ass tightly, moving him in and out of her mouth and sucking for all she was worth. "Scul-ohh" Mulder moaned. He was completely out of control now, feeling her swirl her tongue around the tip of his cock with every stroke. Scully heard him try to call her name and flicked her tongue back and forth over him faster, the same way he moved his up and down her clit. He tensed, his body shuddering and stiff, and seemed to even stop breathing.... < Yes > Scully thought. He was there. She could feel it. And with one more stroke of her tongue she pushed him off the cliff. End of Part (9/10) Continued in Part 10