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NEW DEBUT:Full Circle To The Truth Pt. 2(5/10)(NC-17) AUTHOR: Des EMAIL ADDRESS: des826@internetconnect.net Disclaimer in Section 1 Scully's office J Edgar Hoover Building Scully stood in the middle of her office, confused. Why was she called here when there was no visitor? It just didn't make sense. She was beginning to feel like someone was directing her like a puppet on a string and she had no control at all. Given the circumstances, the proper thing to do would be to head back up to the meeting, but there was no way in hell she was going to do that. Listening to Kersch's pompousness was more than she could stand. Throw in the sneaking suspicion that Diana Fowley arranged that fiasco and the fact that she just couldn't control her attraction to Mulder anymore, and that amounted to a very good reason for staying right where she was. Turning around to close the door behind her so she could give the impression that she was meeting with someone, Scully was startled to find Mulder closing it himself. Turning around, he faced her silently. "Mulder? Wha-" "Ok, I'm here." "Mulder, are you crazy? Didn't Kersch just seriously threaten both of us if we're anywhere near each other at all?" "Scully, do you really believe I give a flying f-" "Mulder! This is serious!" "What's the matter, Scully?" he asked softly, his deep voice sending chills up her spine. "Don't you like my company anymore?" he asked, walking toward her. "Don't Mulder," she said, backing up. "Stay right where you are." She always wound up in his arms if he was anywhere near her these days. "Don't Shoot!" he cried dramatically. raising his hands in the air. "Cut it out, Mulder." Lowering his hands, he chuckled. "Are you afraid of me, Agent Scully?" < No. Just of myself> "Why are you here Mulder?" "I got a call to come here." "Mulder," she started, then stopped - realizing that the same thing happened to her. "I thought you sent for me." "No Mulder, I was called here too." "This is the second time this happened. The first time I came to this office I was called here - just before Diana came by with the tip from Skinner..." he said, then trailed off at the mention of Diana and the sudden chill that came into Scully's eyes. Clearing his throat he asked, "what do you think is going on here Scully?" "I'm not sure Mulder. Obviously someone is playing games. Any ideas as to who that might be?" She asked sarcastically. "You think it's Diana. That just doesn't make sense Scully. Diana wouldn't interfere with our relationship." "What's closer to the truth is that if she were interfering with it, she certainly wouldn't do anything designed to bring us together - only to keep us apart." "That's not fair Scully. You don't know her." "Yes, you keep reminding me. Well, since you do, you tell me. Is what I've suggested a possibility?" Mulder lowered his head. He couldn't lie and tell her no. She was right. It wasn't just possible, it was plausible. Wasn't he considering just that very same idea himself not 15 minutes ago? "Scully-" he started, the answer clearly visible in his eyes. "I think you'd better go Mulder," Scully said softly. Shaking his head in agreement, he turned to the door, but couldn't allow himself to walk out. This wasn't right. He needed to be honest. She deserved that. Keeping his back to her momentarily, Mulder gathered his courage. "You asked me why I didn't say anything about Diana," he interjected. "Yes." "At first, it wasn't intentional," he said, turning around to face her. "At first? Wait a minute, are you telling me that at some point you decided to do it intentionally?" "That didn't come out right." "You hurt me deliberately?" "No..." "Then what?" "Scully, I'm trying to figure this out." Crossing her arms, Scully remained silent. "At first, there really wasn't anything to tell. I mean, she just showed up out of the blue and I just never anticipated having that much...contact with her," he said hesitantly, flashing back to the scene in the car. Looking at her, he saw she'd decided to stay quiet, so he continued. "A-after I saw your reaction to her...I felt...I don't know," he said with a shrug, "good." "Good?" Scully asked softly. "You felt good!" she cried louder, then shouted "It didn't feel good to me Mulder - IT HURT!" "Scully-" "You son of a bitch-" "Hold on, Scully-" "No," she said, walking to the door of her office and opening it. "Get the hell out of my office!" she shouted. "Scully! You're not listening-" "NOW!!" Her temper sparking his own, he stormed over to the door and yanked it out of her hands, slamming it shut, then pressing her against it. "Scully you didn't let me finish-" "I've heard enough! I want you OUT of my unh-" Scully closed her eyes as she was devoured by a very angry Mulder, biting at her lips, then sliding his tongue into her mouth. Scully wrapped her lips around his tongue, her anger matching his, then moaning as he slid his hands up and cupped her breasts, thumbs rubbing her sensitive nipples. His anger was slowly being replaced by passion as he felt her body soften and respond to his ministrations. This woman made him lose what little sense he did- "OWWW!" he groaned, as she bit down on his tongue. Not hard enough to cause real pain...yet. But enough to give him an accurate barometer of just how much pain he could expect should she decide to follow that course of action. He opened his eyes and stared into hers. Though those blue eyes were a mix of anger, passion and determination, she allowed him to slowly slide his tongue between her teeth. Just when he thought he was home free, she bit down again - right at the tip of his tongue and spoke. "You were saying, Agent Mulder?" "Met...me...mo," Mulder tried to say, and though he was barely understandable, Scully let him go. Moving his still busy hands away from her still tingling breasts, she waited, expecting him to move away from the door. But he never did. Though he did continue the explanation. "It's not something I'm proud of Scully," he started avoiding her eyes, "but I feel like I owe you the truth." "Which is?" He sighed, embarrassed. "Before Diana showed up, our relationship was...one way. It was a partnership in the best sense of the word, but...I sometimes wondered if I meant anything to you besides as a partner." Closing his eyes in mortification, he continued. "But when Diana came...you started to show more feelings than I'd seen from you before so...I-I held back, because I wanted to see more." Scully waited, reluctantly beginning to see where he was heading. "It seemed the more I held back, the more emotion you showed - and the more emotion you showed the more I wanted to see. I didn't consider the fact that you were hurting - or maybe it was there in the back of my mind but I thought..." he hesitated, squeezing his eyes shut, "I thought that you would finally have a idea of how I've felt all these years, hoping you felt half of what I did," he finished. < Just say it, dammit> he told himself. "The pitiful truth about it Scully? I liked the fact that you were jealous," he finished in a rush. < There. I said it.> "Like I said, I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth. I'm sorry that I hurt you; I just want you to come back," he said, looking her in the eyes for the first time since he started his explanation. "Oh Mulder..." she said stroking his cheek, "it's not that simple." "Why not Scully? Why-what do you want me to do or say?" "Mulder-" "Whatever you want me to do - I'll do. I just can't keep hurting like this." "Listen to me," Scully said softly, framing his face in her hands, "you aren't the only one hurting. I am too. This is just as hard on me..." "Scully," he said, taking her face in his hands as well, "do you love me?" "Yes Mulder. I love you." "Do you have any idea how that much hurts me Scully? Do you?" "Mulder-" "No Scully. I can open my mind to all manner of extreme possibilities," he said, softly rubbing her lips with his thumb, "but those three words were a possibility so extreme I didn't dare to even hope in it. Ssssh..." he said, placing a finger across her lips when she attempted to speak. "But that didn't mean," he continued, "that sometimes, when I couldn't stop myself, I didn't dream of hearing those words coming from your lips. I did. But you were a dream I not only didn't feel I could hope for...but that I didn't deserve." "Mulder-" she started. "I'm going somewhere with this, Scully." "I'm sorry." "But you took a phrase that should warm the heart of anyone that hears it, and turned it into something that brings me nothing but pain - no that's not completely true - it's like this strange combination of pleasure and pain. Pleasure because I never allowed myself to seriously hope that you could love me like that; and pain because you give me my dream at the same time that you took it way. It's made worse now because I know what you feel like," his voice going softer, "what you taste like...and how passionate you are," He finished smoothly, sliding his tongue in her mouth before she could say anything in response. Again framing his face, Scully pulled back. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Mulder. I can only say to you that I'm suffering too," she whispered. "But please believe me. I love you." "Then come home," he whispered back. "Mulder..." "It's killing me," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "Scully, I need you." "Don't," she said, pressing her hands against his chest, resisting his embrace. "Don't what Scully? Don't want you? Don't need you?" "Mulder please!" she cried, sliding underneath his arms and away >from the door to the center of the room. "This is the best I can do right now." "But Scully-" he began, while walking toward her. "Stay where you are," Scully warned. "That's the second time you've said that. Why are you running >from me, Scully?" "I'm not running at all," she denied, backing into the desk. Mulder simply stared. "All right dammit! I don't know myself around you anymore. I can't TRUST myself around you anymore. If we are alone in the same room I just can't seem to think anymore! It scares me Mulder," she said, ending in a whisper. "Why? I don't understand." "I've never been the way I am with you...with anyone else," she explained softly. "God Scully," Mulder said, walking toward her. "I said stay where you are, Mulder! I mean it," she ordered, stopping him in his tracks. "Why won't you let me near you?" "Because whenever you are, I can't seem to care about anything else and this is important! I need to think!" "About what?" He asked. Hoping it would be easier if she didn't face him, she turned her back to him and stared at the picture of her sister Melissa, sitting on her desk. "Mulder, do you remember when I told you that I had never met anyone as passionate and dedicated to a belief as you?" Thinking back, Mulder nodded as he spoke. "Yeah, we disagreed over Deep Throat." "Yes. I said that your passion is so intense that sometimes it's blinding. While I respected and admired it, it also scared me. It still does. To have all of that passion directed toward you...is frightening." "I would never hurt you, Scully." "No, no you don't understand. Passion is a very big part of who you are, focus doesn't matter...whether it's extraterrestrial entities, or...a woman," she whispered. "You'd have to be able to handle it, and - and to match it." "Scully," he said somewhat bewildered, "you've been matching it for 6 years." Stomach tied up in knots, Scully faced him. "You're not hearing me Mulder. "I guess not. I'm lost Scully. You've been the perfect partner for me. I mean, you match me wit for wit." "I'm not talking about being a partner, Mulder." "Then what are you talking about?" "Being a woman!" she blurted. "Being a woman and matching your passion!" Scully hung her head a moment, not believing she'd just spoken her deepest fear to Mulder. Mulder ignored the blast of heat he felt at her words, and concentrated on giving her the reassurance she seemed to be asking him for. "Scully...you match my passion in every way." "When we were growing up, my sister was the passionate one. She was spontaneous and free. And me? I was the quiet, studious-" "I can see studious, but quiet? When?" "That's what I mean Mulder. I'm not myself when I'm with you," she said closing her eyes. "I hardly know who I am." "You're being silly Scully-" "I should have never told you I loved you," she murmured, opening her eyes and finding herself face-to-face with Mulder's chest. How the hell...? "Don't say that Scully," he said angrily, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Goddammit, don't *ever* say that." "But ever since I said those words Mulder, everything's changed," Scully cried helplessly, twisting handfuls of his jacket in her hands. "I can't seem to get things back. To get ME back anymore." "Is that what you're waiting for?" Mulder asked, calmer now. He was beginning to understand what was disturbing her. It seemed Dana Scully the scientist had finally met Dana Scully the woman. The sensual woman. "It's like I've lost control. Like I've lost a part of myself." "No Scully," Mulder said softly. "You just gave it to me. That's why you can't find it," he told her, framing her face in his hands, and staring into her bewildered, frightened eyes. "And guess what Scully? I'm not giving it back, but I promise you I'll cherish it." "Mulder, how can you be so sure I'll satisfy you?" "What are you talking about?" "I mean, I'm used to a certain level of intensity in relationships...but your passion well exceeds what I'm used to. It hasn't been easy for me to match it, just being your partner. How can I match it being - being...more?" "Stop it!" he said. "How can you be so sure about me when I'm not?" Scully said, pouring out all of her fears. "Mulder I'm - I'm conventional, not adventurous. I mean, the only place I've ever made love in is a bed for god's sakes! And in the six years we've been partners, have you ever known me to be spontaneous?" "I said stop it, Scully!" he shouted grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a shake. "Do you remember that night in the rain? The woman I was with that night seduced me. No Scully, you're not going to run this time," he told her when she started to pull away in disbelief. "You'll hear this, dammit. I was angry and I wanted to stay angry. I tried everything I knew to stay mad at you that night, but you were having none of it. As furious as I wanted to be, you made me want your love - your passion - MORE. Until it was all I cared about. I didn't stand a chance against it. That, Agent Scully, is seduction. You. Were. Hot. Blushing at the memory, she tugged his head down until they were rubbing nose to nose. < Just like Eskimos> Mulder thought, and remembered that she'd held him this very same way the last time they had a conversation in this office. At that moment, he realized something new about his beautiful partner. She was a cuddler. "I've never been like that with any man before Mulder," she whispered, embarrassed, and Mulder couldn't help but feel a jolt of joy at her words. He kissed her softly. "Maybe you just needed the right man to bring it out. Give me a chance Scully - give US a chance," Mulder whispered, "and I'll prove it to you." He held her face between his hands, wanting to see her face the first time he said the words to her. He'd already told her he loved her, but he'd never said this. "I want you Scully. I want you more than I want the next breath." He never would have anticipated her reaction to his declaration. He thought she might just stare blankly, or simply shrug him off as she did once before when he made a different - but just as important - declaration from a hospital bed, but she did neither. Instead, tears sprung to her eyes, touched his heart, and made him want her painfully. "Oh Mulder," she whispered. How many times had she dreamed those words from him? She was tempted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming now. But even her wildest fantasies didn't come close to the heat that was in his eyes right now. And it was all for her. < To hell with it> She thought. Mulder sensed and felt her surrender, and against all good judgement responded, grabbing her waist and lifting her on top of her desk, then positioning himself between her thighs. Grasping a handful of her hair, Mulder yanked her head back and feasted on her mouth - biting, licking and rubbing his lips over hers. Sliding her hands underneath his jacket, she ran them up his back and hooked them around his shoulders, pulling him tightly against her. Scully then slid her hands over his buttocks, testing and kneading his firm flesh and wrapping her thighs around his hips. Breaking off the kiss, Mulder lowered his hands to her breasts and caressed them slowly through the layers of clothing and bra, making Scully squirm with impatience and pleasure. "More Mulder. More," she whispered, and stroked his tongue with hers, ready to do it all right here and to hell with the consequences- A brisk knock on the door interrupted them. "Agent Scully? Are you there?" < Shit> Dana thought. "It's Kersch," she whispered to Mulder. "Shit," Mulder whispered back. "I just said that!" Scully whispered urgently. "No you didn't. You thought it." "Same thing...Hide!" "Where?" Mulder asked while both of them looked around for a suitable place, and outside the door, Kersch continued to knock. "Agent Scully? Are you in there?" "Mulder!!" "There's no place to go Scully! You have no closets or drapes, no file cabinets - not even a table to dive under..." he trailed off as the idea hit them both at the same time. "Under the desk!!" they each whispered. Mulder dived just in the nick of time. Kersch was opening the door. Scully quickly sat down in her seat, and gave Mulder a look that said "Don't make a sound!" "Agent Scully, are you alright?" Kersch asked, coming into the office and taking a seat. "Yes sir, why do you ask?" "You didn't answer when I knocked - I was concerned." "No need. I'm fine." "I thought we needed to clarify a few things. I came off rather harshly up there and I know you didn't take too kindly to it." "I took exception to being treated like a person whose judgement is in question. If that is the way you feel, why bring me on in the first place?" "That isn't the way I feel Agent Scully, which is why I came to-" "Exactly how *do* you feel sir, if you don't mind me asking?" "Now *my* judgement is in question?" "No more than mine was - unless you'd like to try the *truth* this time," Scully countered, crossing her arms and uncrossing her legs leaning forward in her seat. "That was rather insolent Agent Scully. It seems you picked up some of Agent Mulder's bad habits." "I'm sorry," Scully said innocently. "Were we discussing Agent Mulder? I thought we were going to...clarify a few things. Did I misinterpret your meaning?" "Touché, Agent Scully. Sheathe those claws and let me explain." "I'm all ears, sir." A barely heard snicker from underneath her desk had her kicking - anything she could reach - to warn Mulder not to make a sound. < OUCH, dammit!> She almost nailed him in the balls! But he just couldn't help it. He had to laugh. Kersch didn't know it, but he was dead meat. Mulder was intimately acquainted with the tone Scully was using in her conversation with her superior. He was so glad he was, for once, *not* on the receiving end of it. But he was aware of why it was there in the first place. Because of him. Even though she walked away, she didn't like anyone trying to tell her how to handle their relationship. But there was no need for her indignation on his behalf. < Because Fox Mulder does whatever the hell he wants to do and anyone who gets in his way...well they can go straight to hell.> he thought. God himself couldn't keep him away from Scully. If his soul depended on it, he would gladly go to hell. Just being with her was like a slice of heaven. He had no doubt that if they weren't interrupted, he and Scully would be a minute away from making love right about now. Just the thought of it had him stifling a groan. And she thought she wasn't passionate enough? Not woman enough for him? Every time he got near her she seared him with her passion, he thought, absently stroking her feet. And then realized that he was in a position to stroke much MORE than just her feet. Though it wasn't planned, Mulder saw this as another opportunity - as in the back seat of her car that rainy, passion-filled, painful night - to kill two birds with one stone. He could distract her from getting into more hot water with Kersch, AND show her just how spontaneous and UN-conventional she actually was. Dana Scully had more passion in her than even *she* knew and he was determined to prove it to her. Arousal was already riding him hard - this was one of his fantasies. The danger of exposure only excited him more. He was already hard, wondering if Scully was a "true" redhead - and he had every intention of finding out. How would she taste? Could he make her come? With Kersch in the same room? And how long would it take before she realized what he was going to do? Would she let him? He was about to find out. End of Part (5/10) Continued in Part 6