NEW DEBUT:Full Circle To The Truth Pt. One (NC-17)(3/4)
AUTHOR: Des
EMAIL ADDRESS: des826@internetconnect.net
Disclaimer in Section 1


Outside the J Edgar Hoover building
11:45 PM

Across the street, in a nondescript car, smoke filled the
air as the passenger door opened then closed.

"You're just in time. The show's just starting."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"I...no. Why are we here?"

"Gathering information; you can only win a war if you don't
underestimate your enemy."

Annoyed, Diana Fowley grabbed the door handle. "It's too
late for guessing games, now if you don't have anything for
me-"

"Oh but I do Agent Fowley, I do," Opening his window, CSM
flicked his cigarette out with thumb and forefinger.

"What then?"

"I thought it was time you checked out the competition."

"What comp-" she broke off.

Diana never completed the sentence because it was just at
that instant that she spotted Scully slamming down the 
trunk of her car - and Mulder stepping out of the shadows.

Diana stared mutely, as the CSM, lighting another 
cigarette, remarked, "Should be quite a show, don't you 
think?"

With a chuckle he added, "I only wish I'd bought popcorn."

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Stepping further out of the shadows, but saying nothing,
Mulder gave his partner *ex-partner* a critical once over.
She was slowly becoming pale and she was trembling.

Good.

She wasn't as unaffected as she seemed, though she was
trying desperately to hide that fact from him. Any other 
time that would have endeared her to him. Now it just hurt.

"I'm no coward, Mulder," Scully said evenly, trying to 
still her suddenly quaking body.

"No? Let's look at the facts. You tell me you are going 
away for a weekend that turns into 10 days, with no call, 
nothing. When you finally DO show up, it's only to announce 
that you have arranged a transfer out of the X-files, 
without a word to your partner or your superior, but worst 
of all..." Mulder paused as his voice broke with emotion. 
Clearing his throat, he continued.

"But worst of all, you tell me you love me and walk away.
What would you call it, Scully?"

"Necessary," she shot back, wrapping her arms around 
herself defensively. His pain was an almost living thing to 
her.

"But you didn't find it necessary to talk with me? Your
partner?"

"There was nothing left to talk about."

"Really? So you're saying it wasn't necessary to talk to me
about the fact that you love me?"

"I didn't think it was fair to leave without telling you,"
she said softly.

"Well, I didn't think it was fair of you to tell me, then
leave."

"Mulder, this is pointless. It's done."

"Why Scully? Because of Diana?"

Scully lowered her head. She had hoped to put this
conversation off until they were both better able to handle
it. It was time to accept that she would not be given a
reprieve. Taking a deep breath, Scully prepared to speak 
her peace.

"Mulder, do you remember what you said to me when we were
working on the Pfaster case? You said you didn't want me to 
feel like I had to keep anything from you, remember?"

"Scully-"

"And yet, you didn't share this -HER- with me. You've acted
>from the very beginning like you had something to hide."

"I also remember telling you, not so long ago, that you 
hide your feelings very well! How could I be sure of the 
way you would react?"

"How can you ask something of me that you aren't willing to
do yourself?"

"And what happened to 'not everything is about you Mulder,
this is my life?' Well, I could make the same statement.
When is MY life...My life?"

Scully flinched away as if he had struck her, eyes going
dark with temper and pain, and causing Mulder to instantly
regret his words.

"Your life has *always* been your life, I'm simply taking 
mine back," she answered hoarsely, starting to step around 
him.

It was time to go.

Mulder grabbed her arm, stopping her before she could get
into her car and drive away.

"Scully wait."

Turning around, Scully faced him with somber blue eyes.

"I can't help you Mulder. Not anymore."

"You're trying to make me choose and that's not fair."

"It's not a question of you choosing; *I* chose."

"Why?"

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"What are you talking about Scully? I am who I have always
been."

"No. Not when she's around."

"Why are you making this about her?"

"It's NOT about her, it's about you."

"Wait a minute-"

"You wanted to know, so LISTEN! I can't trust you anymore!
She has some sort of hold over you, and it's affected your
judgement!"

"My judgement," he repeated, annoyed.

"Yes. And your instincts."

"The instincts that you say you can no longer trust are the
SAME ones that brought me here. RIGHT here! The SAME ones 
that KNEW you would be here. And the SAME ones that brought 
YOU here right now."

"I came here tonight because-"

"You knew, Scully! NO!" He started, before she could 
interject. "You *knew* I'd be here, just like I *knew* you 
would! Somehow. We both just knew! Be-because...that's US! 
We share a bond - a connection! The same bond that told you 
I was still alive when everyone else thought I was dead. 
Burned to death in that boxcar in New Mexico," Mulder said, 
his voice shaking with emotion.

"The same bond that NEVER let me give up hope when you were
taken-" he stopped, shaking with the effort of holding back
the tears that threatened as he thought back to her 
abduction - and causing the first tear to track down 
Scully's cheeks.

"Even though everyone - including your mother - did give up
hope," he finished, his voice hitching. "Somehow I knew,
just as you did then, because there is something between 
us. It's been there from the beginning."

"But it's - it isn't there now."

"It is. Right now! I wouldn't be here - YOU wouldn't be
here - if it weren't!"

"You'd understand why I'm doing this if it were!" 

Taking a deep breath to regroup, Scully continued. "Mulder, 
I once told you that there was a limit to how far I would 
go; a line which I cannot -no- WILL not cross. I've drawn 
it here."

"All because I didn't believe you about Diana? I told you
you don't know her!"

"I don't believe you do either but," she added quickly
before he could comment, "she is only part of the problem."

"OK. What's the rest of it?"

"Mulder. We...our partnership works because were are not
only true to the work, but true to ourselves, our beliefs-"

"I still believe in you, Scully. Are you telling me you no
longer believe in me?"

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End of Part (3/4)
Continued in Part 4