NEW DEBUT: Full Circle To The Truth Pt. One (NC-17)(2/4)
AUTHOR: Des
EMAIL ADDRESS: des826@internetconnect.net
Disclaimer in Section 1


As the elevator descended, Dana tried to rein in her 
rioting emotions. How had it come to this?

Since the night she walked out of the LGM's place, she'd
known what she had to do. She meant it when she told Mulder
she couldn't help him. This was a journey he had to make
alone. Even shoring up her strength these past weeks, she 
STILL felt like she was ripping her own heart out.

Was she doing the right thing?

Scully leaned against the elevator wall trembling and in
tears, alternately cursing herself and rejoicing in the 
fact that she'd finally told Mulder her "dirty little 
secret."

She felt a little hysterical laugh bubble up at the
inappropriate flashback to the last time that phrase was
spoken to her, in a haunted house, by a "ghost."

Feeling torn apart by equal parts pain and grief, Scully
closed her eyes and saw him. Bewildered, betrayed, angry 
and hurt.

God, she'd hurt him.

She did her best not to let it show, but the strong bond
that had always been between them was alive and well, 
enough for her to feel both HIS pain as well as her own.
It was tearing her up inside; she had to get out of here. 
Fast.

Scully clamped down hard on her lower lip and fought for
control, reaching in the pocket of her suit for a tissue to
wipe her eyes, not even noticing that the elevator had 
stopped and a few other agents had gotten on.

"Agent Scully? Are you alright?"

Outwardly composed now, she turned around as she heard the
doors open on the ground floor, squared her shoulders and
looked straight ahead, walking resolutely to the exit.

"I'm fine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

J Edgar Hoover Building
3:02 PM

Standing in the doorway of Skinner's outer office, both he
and Diana watched the scene between the two agents unfold,
even though they couldn't hear what was being said.

The insistent ringing of the telephone penetrated Diana's
concentration, and she tore her eyes away from the scene in
the hall and looked around for Skinner's secretary, noting
that Skinner's concentration remained unbroken.

Realizing that Skinner's secretary must have stepped away
>from her desk, Diana herself walked over to the phone and
answered it, taking a message for her. As she heard the 
phone disconnect in her ear, Diana watched Mulder slide 
down the wall of the hallway to the floor.

Dammit, she needed to find out what was going on.

Realizing that she was listening to a dial tone, Diana
started to hang up, then thought better of it as an idea
came to her.

Raising her voice, hoping to catch Skinner's attention,
Diana pretended to have a conversation, then hung up; glad
to see that her ploy worked. He was watching her.

"Sir, that was Holly," She said, walking back to the
doorway. "She said that AD Kersch is requesting that you 
report to his office immediately."

"Can't this wait?" he asked, turning his attention back to
the scene in the hallway.

"No sir. Kersch said immediately."

Annoyed, Skinner sighed. "Alright, I have to see what this
is about. Agent Fowley, inform Agent Mulder that he is to
report back to my office and is NOT to leave until I get
back."

"Yes, sir. I will."

After watching to make sure the Assistant Director was
indeed on his way, Diana made a beeline for Mulder.

"Fox? My God...Fox, look at you."

Getting down on her knees, Diana tried to rouse him as best
she could. Wrapping her arms around him, she tried - 
unsuccessfully - to help him up. He was dead weight. If she 
was to get him up, she would need his help.

She was acutely aware of the picture he made, slovenly
draped against the wall. Agents and secretaries alike were
already whispering behind her.

"Fox, you have to get up. Skinner will be back soon. It
won't take him long to realize I invented that urgent
request from Kersch's office. I tried to buy you some time 
to pull yourself together," she stressed.

Leaning down further, trying to make eye contact, she slid 
a finger under his chin, tilting it upwards enough that she
can look into his eyes-and was stunned at the devastation
there.

"Fox? What the hell happened?"

"She's gone," he mumbled, stunned.

"I can't hear you, Fox."

"Sh-she took my dream."

"What?" Diana asked, realizing he wasn't making sense.
When she received no answer, she tried again.

"We'll find a way to work this out Fox...together. You and
me, okay?"

Mulder squinted, for the first time noticing Diana - and 
felt totally disoriented.

"Fox, Skinner still wants to talk to you in his office when
he gets back and everyone is watching. You need to get up
and pull yourself together," she said forcefully, holding 
his face in her hands, trying to keep his attention rooted 
on her.

Mulder nodded mutely, tears still running down his face.

After rising from his position on the floor, Diana
straightened his jacket, and tried to wipe the tears he
still seemed unaware of.

"It's going to be okay, Fox," Diana said softly, stroking
his face. "I'll help you."

After focusing on her blearily for a moment, Mulder walked
back down the hall to Skinner's office, while Diana 
followed along more slowly, assuring enough distance 
between them to allow her to pull out her cellular phone 
without being noticed, and quickly dialed a number.

"She quit. Not the FBI, the X-files," She said curtly, and
hung up.

Lengthening her stride, she walked into Skinner's office,
grateful to see he hadn't arrived back yet, and closed the
door. Taking the empty seat beside Mulder, she took his
hand, glad to see the tears had stopped.

"Fox, you still have the work; the X-Files are still yours.
It can be like old times? Remember? You and me 
investigating a case? Things should run more smoothly now
since you and I approach them from the same side."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"No-no, you said approaching it from the same side, are you
trying to say that Scully wasn't on my side?"

"After what has happened here today, how can you believe
anything different?"

"You don't know her like I do."

"I know she walked out of here without so much as a
goodbye!"

"And we BOTH know that she's not the ONLY woman in my life
that has done that, don't we?"

"Dammit, you're not being fair!"

"And you are?"

"Fox, this work isn't easy and it isn't comfortable - it 
takes guts to challenge your own beliefs day after day!"

"Who the HELL do you think you are? NOW you're saying that
Scully is a coward?"

"I'm saying that investigating the X-Files requires an open
mind. A phrase I tend not to associate with Agent Scully."

"You know NOTHING about Scully. She views our cases through
the eyes of science; it's who she is and she's saved my ass
more times than you can ever know. She is as important to
the work, as I am."

"Don't you mean she was?" Diana corrected softly.

And with her words the pain came rushing back like a flood,
making him tightly shut his eyes and get to his feet.

"Like I said Diana, you don't know her like I do," Mulder
said tiredly, rubbing his temples. The headache was getting
worse. He had to get out of there. Opening his eyes and 
turning quickly, Mulder started for the door - only to be 
stopped by Diana, blocking his path.

"Fox, I'm sorry."

Stroking his chest, she added, "I guess I'm a little over-
protective when it comes to you."

"Diana, if we are to be working together, then Scully is a
subject we have to agree NOT to discuss," he said, grabbing
her stroking hand, removing it from his chest, and letting
it go.

And with those words he was gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Margaret Scully's house
4:10 PM

"Dana?"

"Hi mom."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling her into her
arms for a hug and shutting the door.

Dana squeezed her eyes tightly shut and held on for dear
life.

Alarmed by her daughter's almost desperate grip, and some
inner radar that only a parent can have when it comes to
their children, Margaret Scully pulled back and gently
smoothed her daughter's hair, taking note of the fact that
she wouldn't meet her eyes.

Wrapping an arm around her waist and gently directing her
toward the living room, she asked...

"Honey? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine mom."

"Come on, let's sit down," she said, patting an empty 
section of the couch.

But Scully was too restless to sit. If she sat, then she 
might think, and if she thought, she might feel, and THAT 
was something she couldn't let happen. She simply COULDN'T
feel anymore, it would kill her.

Stalling, she asked, "Mom, don't you want some coffee?"

"In a bit. Sweetheart?"

"I sure could use some."

"Dana-"

"Mom, Mulder and I are no longer partners," Scully abruptly
blurted out.

"What??"

"I terminated it. Transferred out of the X-Files, actually.
It's a done deal," she said brokenly.

"Why?"

"I HAD to."

"But...why, honey?"

Dana remained silent. Margaret Scully sighed at this well
recognized sign. Her daughter was indeed in pain.

"Well...how - what did Fox say?"

"I didn't give him a chance to say anything."

"Dana! You didn't even TALK to him first?"

"It was the only way, Mom! I'm just waiting until after
hours to pack up my things because I...I just can't face
him again!" she said, ending on a whisper.

"Oh Mom," Scully cried, "I feel so lost!" With tears in her 
eyes, she finally broke down and fell into her mother's 
already outstretched arms.

"Oh honey, it will be okay," she soothed.

Margaret Scully held her daughter, thought of her partner,
and hurt for them both. She'd always known that to find
their happiness they'd both have to overcome pain.

As she hugged her daughter and tried to comfort her, part 
of her brain marveled at how her very logical rational 
daughter thought that just by signing a slip of paper, she 
could separate 2 people that were joined at the soul.

Her mind flashed back to the day she finally understood 
that fact, a shudder racking her body as she remembered 
those terrifying months after her daughter's abduction - 
and the day she handed her daughter's cross, the only piece 
of jewelry recovered, back to the man she KNEW would never 
rest until her daughter was back where she belonged.

With her family. And with him.

Though she was not entirely sure EITHER of them understood
that. Yet. But SHE did. And hopefully quite soon...so would 
they.

So be it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Mulder's Apartment
10:30 PM

"Agent Mulder, you were ordered to remain in my office. I
wasn't finished with you yet."

Mulder leaned against the doorframe and looked at his
superior with an insolence that was all bravado.

"I had a pressing appointment."

"Sitting alone? In your apartment? In the dark?"

"Can't beat the company."

"You might as well invite me in, because I'm not going 
away."

"Well then...by all means," Mulder said, opening the door 
wide and bowing deeply.

"Stop being such a smart ass Mulder; you're not fooling 
me," Skinner shot back, entering the apartment and closing 
the door.

"No disrespect intended sir, but it IS after hours, and I'm
in my own house."

"Meaning?"

"I have every right to act like an ass," Mulder replied
glibly, settling down on the couch and not even bothering 
to turn on a light.

"Is that what happened between you and Agent Scully?"
Skinner asked while settling into a chair himself. At the
mention of her name, Mulder closed his eyes - an action 
that wasn't lost on Skinner.

"You probably know more about what happened than I do. She
didn't even give me a clue that something was wrong."

"Bullshit."

Opening his eyes, Mulder just stared.

"Don't hand me that crap Agent Mulder. If *I* knew
something was wrong , YOU sure as hell did."

"Well you sure as hell took care of it, didn't you? A flick
of the wrist, problem solved."

"Don't try to put the blame on me Agent Mulder. What did 
you do?"

"Just what makes you think I did ANYTHING?" Mulder said,
guilt starting to be overcome by temper.

"When Scully showed up at that Georgetown hospital, 
comatose after her abduction 4 years ago, EVERYONE tried to 
bring her out of it. Nurses and family members alike.
But one of the nurses taking care of her told me that she
didn't come out of it until YOU sat at her bedside and
talked to her. Not even DEATH could make her leave you!  
And yet this very same woman arranged a meeting in my 
office this morning and WILLINGLY walked away. Now I'm 
beginning to lose my patience with you Agent Mulder.
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

"I DID NOTHING!" Mulder yelled , jumping up from the couch,
temper in full control of his actions now.

"THAT'S A GODDAMNED LIE," Skinner roared. "There's been a
problem between you two ever since Cassandra Spender was 
found and then killed! So don't hand me that bullshit about 
you have no idea or that you didn't DO anything, because 
when you do that, you're working against yourself. Now 
SOMETHING happened. WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?"

The air left Mulder's lungs with a whoosh at his words,
feeling as if he'd just received a punch in the gut. 
Skinner's words had just caused all the pieces to click 
into place.

Now he COULD pinpoint when the trouble started: it was when
Scully walked out on him after presenting evidence about
Diana, at the LGM's place. AFTER she told him that she 
couldn't help him anymore. AFTER he'd made it clear that he 
didn't believe her evidence was any REAL proof.

Oh my God.

Jumping out of his chair, and grabbing Mulder by his T-
shirt, Skinner spun him around, and threw him to the floor.

"I asked you a question Agent Mulder, and I expect an
answer."

Leaning down and grabbing his shirt, Skinner braced as if 
he fully intended to knock Mulder across the room again.

"Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but 
EITHER way I'm getting some answers."

"Go to hell, Skinner."

"Not until you do. Now. What. Did. You. Do."

Breaking down, Mulder explained, "We've been having
disagreements about Diana."

"Disagreements? What kind of disagreements?"

"Scully did some checking on Diana and found what she
thought was incriminating evidence."

"Evidence?"

"Through phone records, she was able to find out that Diana
had been making weekly trips to Tunisia and has traveled
extensively throughout Europe. Scully thought the reason 
for this was to monitor the women who had microchips 
planted in the back of their necks like her, and then 
report it to her superiors."

"What SHE thought - you didn't agree with her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I thought this was...personal."

"Agent Scully was chosen as your partner BECAUSE of her
objectivity as a scientist, yet you didn't trust her
judgement. Why?"

"Because she doesn't know Diana like I do."

"And that overrides the fact that Agent Scully is your
partner and has been for 6 years?"

"One has NOTHING to do with the other-"

"And THAT'S MY POINT!! Just whose judgement is being
affected here, Agent Mulder? What's REALLY going on, 
dammit!" Skinner added, giving him a shake.

It was slowly beginning to dawn on Skinner that this was 
more a matter of Mulder's inability to handle having both 
women in his life than anything else - and he stiffened 
against the surge of anger that coursed through him at the 
thought.

Mulder just stared at Skinner helplessly, shaking his head
and watching an almost frightening surge of anger leap into
his eyes as he watched his superior begin to put two and 
two together.

Breathing heavily, through clenched teeth, Skinner spoke
evenly, "You mean to tell me that one of the best - if not
THE best, partnership in the FBI was terminated because
YOU couldn't get your SHIT TOGETHER?" he said, ending on a
yell.

"That's none of your damn business!" Mulder screamed, 
trying to get up from his position on the floor.

"The hell it isn't." Skinner began, holding Mulder in place
with a hand to his throat. "Look, I've never questioned you 
and Agent Scully's relationship. I KNOW that the 
protectiveness and care that you show toward one another, 
the bond that develops from that, is necessary and 
important if you are to stay alive. Yours was stronger than 
most, I think. It surprises me that you would do ANYTHING 
to jeopardize that."

"I didn't KNOW I was jeopardizing ANYTHING!"

"BULLSHIT! If you hand me that innocent line one more time,
I swear to god, I will kick your ass."

At his words, Mulder sprang into action, forcibly removing
Skinner's hands from his throat, and landing a punch that
skimmed Skinner's jaw, making his glasses go flying across
the room.

Before he could connect again, Skinner grabbed him and
twisted his arm behind his back high enough that, if Mulder
moved the slightest inch, he would be in pain.

"You want to take a shot at me, Agent Mulder? Will it 
change anything? Even if I let you, it won't change the 
fact that she's gone, and it won't change the fact that you 
brought this on yourself."

"You don't know anything about it Skinner," Mulder replied,
slumped, defeated and trying unsuccessfully to hold back
tears.

As Skinner saw the tears rolling down Mulder's face, he was
struck by a twinge of sympathy. < No, I can't let this 
change anything, this has to be said.> Hardening his heart, 
and cloaking himself with icy remoteness, Skinner rose from 
his spot on the floor and, picking up his glasses, walked 
to the door.

"Agent Scully is the best thing that ever happened to you. 
I thought you knew that. If you don't...then she was right 
to walk out on you. Get your priorities straight Agent 
Mulder. Before it's too late."

And with that, he walked out the door.

Mulder sat on the floor, staring at the door in more pain
than he thought was possible to feel. He felt lost, adrift.
Normally when he felt like this, he turned to Scully. She
had always been his anchor, his refuge, no matter what 
other turmoil existed in his life. Just seeing her, having 
her around, made things better.

But now she's gone.

And with that thought, he became aware of one more thing he
was feeling.

Anger.

< I have to get out of here>

Rising on shaky legs and picking up his keys, Mulder walked
out the door, deciding to go to the one place that still 
had traces of Scully, hoping that this would bring him some
comfort.

Back to the office.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 


J Edgar Hoover building
Basement office

Dana looked at her watch, and stubbornly wiped the last of
the tears from her eyes. It was time to go. She'd purposely
parked on a side street outside the building, utilizing the
parking meter instead of the parking garage, to insure that
she limit her time here, lest her resolve weaken.

She couldn't afford to weaken; this was the biggest gamble 
of her life. She stood, box in hand, and took one last look 
at the office that had sometimes seemed like a 2nd home to 
her.

So many memories, she mused, arguments, debates, long
discussions laced with comfortable silences. Bad puns, even
worse innuendoes, she thought a slight smile touching her
lips; she was going to miss those. Joy and heartache, pain 
and comfort.

Shutting the door behind her, Scully walked up the steps, 
out of the building, then down the street. As she walked to 
the car, Scully thought of the most surprising aspect of 
her partnership with Mulder.

The laughter.

She knew that she had a tendency to be very solemn at 
times, mostly due to the choices she'd made in her life. 
The solemnity was necessary to be taken seriously. But 
never with Mulder.

He always valued her opinion and took her seriously. Even 
when they didn't agree. From the first day she walked into 
his office and introduced herself.

To the last, when he scoffed at her evidence about Diana 
and she'd walked out.

Stopping in front of her car, Scully took a deep breath and
then searched for her car keys, thinking to herself that it
smelled like rain. After putting her box of memories in the
trunk, she slammed down the hood.

"In all our years together Scully, I never figured you for 
a coward."

"Jesus Mulder," Scully said with a start. "You scared me to
death; what are you doing here?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 
End of Part (2/4)
Continued in part 3