NEW DEBUT! Full Circle To The Truth Pt. One(NC-17)(1/4)
AUTHOR: Des
EMAIL: des826@internetconnect.net
FEEDBACK: As the great James Brown would say: Please,
Please, Please!!!
DISTRIBUTION: I can't think of any place I WOULDN'T want it
to go, so anywhere as long as my name is attached and you
let me know when you send it.
CLASSIFICATION: MSR, Romance; Post EP-"One Son"
RATING: NC-17 for some language and steamy passion between
my fav FBI agents. If that doesn't float your boat, DO NOT
PASS GO!!
Minors: Put your hands in the air, and step AWAY from the
fic!! Or I'm telling your mama!!
Non/shippers: DANGER! NOROMOS! DANGER!!! MSR AHEAD.
SPOILERS: I didn't intend when I first started writing to
have any spoilers at all, but, so much of this story is
writing itself; I'm just trying to keep up. Though the
spoilers are small, it does help to be familiar with all
that M&S have been through together. To list so far:
Arcadia, Fight The Future, The Ghosts that Stole Christmas,
Duane Barry/Ascension/One Breath, The Blessing Way.
SMUTNUGGET: M&S's first...(ahem)...encounter, is semi-
autobiographical < whisper > but let's just keep this our
little secret!

DISCLAIMER: Well, you all KNOW I'm a singer, so I can't
Have just a regular disclaimer; IT HAS TO HAVE MUSIC!!
This disclaimer is set to the tune of "Walking After You"
performed by the Foo Fighters on the Fight The Future
soundtrack. If you know it-start humming the tune as
you read. If you don't - SHAME ON YOU!! Go buy the
soundtrack, and THEN hum the tune as you read.
So...here we go...

Mulder and Dana Scully, don't belong to me...
They are CC's...

Along with Fox Broadcasting, and also 1013...
Oh no infringement, intended by me...

I'm not paid a fee.

I'm just a struggling...singer you see...
< Big Finish! >

Ooo, ooo...If you come after me...
no profit in it for...you.

Ooo, Ooo...Just feel Mulder and Scully...
deserve happiness...too.

Ooo...Ooo...Since CC won't agree...
I'm doing it for...you.
< End >

GRATITUDE & THANKS:
CC for pissing me off enough that I felt I had to do
something after One Son. I would have never found out what
a wonderful thing the writing process is.

Maria Gomez, my XF pt beta-reader and idea conjurer at work
for being patient, listening to me, and being so sweet;

LT and all The Cave dwellers for trying to find the deeper
meaning behind the characters;

Gwoman&Patt for their outlook, support and for making me
laugh; Zuffy - for being who you are - and for writing the
pain - filled, three sentence, e-mail that started me on
this journey.

ATXF for providing a diversity of opinions and just plain
silliness;

The Paradise...who saved my Philehood after One Son(I was
gonna quit watching) and all the writers and lurkers who
are a part of the list, you guys are so great;

Heather's and Mitzi for pushing, nudging, and when that
doesn't work, outright blackmail to inspire us all to write
higher levels of smutdom.

Nic and Kimba-thanks I know you tried, you were just too
busy!!

DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to 3 people equally:
Brandon - my songwriting partner, for telling me I needed
To express what I was feeling.

Alicia, my wonderful and supportive beta-reader. Thanks for
your ideas, insights and patience, as well as your
tremendous faith in me. I not only found a beta-reader, I
found a friend.

And last, but not least, my best friend Cat. The Scully to
my Mulder. We are our own X-file; being able to read each
other's minds, sense when something's wrong, and help each
other through some rough times. You're closer than a sister
and I would not have tried this if you hadn't said "I think
you should write it Des." You mean the world to me and I
love you.

SUMMARY: Special Agent Diana Fowley. Special Agent Dana
Scully. What do they mean to Fox Mulder?  Does he know?
If not, how far do you have to go to find the truth?
I thought it was time to find out.
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FULL CIRCLE TO THE TRUTH (NC-17)
by Des


J. Edgar Hoover Building

The cellular phone clicked as he angrily disconnected. No
answer. As he walked into the J Edgar Hoover building, and
onto the elevator, he wondered for the umpteenth time that
day-hell, that week, where was Scully?

Pressing the button for his floor, he pondered for a
moment, all the changes that had happened in the last
several weeks. Things haven't been easy and he still wasn't
sure how he felt about all that he'd learned. < Still
processing that information,> he thought with a shrug.

But the way things stood now, the planet is safe -
temporarily - NOT through his own efforts but by the
efforts of another race of aliens that apparently don't
believe in bondage.

The group of men that he'd come to think of as the
Consortium are all dead - with a few suspicious exceptions.

Reaching into his coat pocket, he fished out a handful of
sunflower seeds and cracked one open, thinking of loose
ends and tight spots. Loose ends like Special Agent Jeffrey
Spender, at first thought missing, now presumed dead.

He had mixed feelings about it. His initial impression of
the Spender was that he was a weasel, but he'd proven
himself a man of integrity, standing up for himself,
and facing down his superior by telling, no, by DEMANDING
that the x-files be given back to him and Scully.

And then he'd disappeared.

But that last meeting had the desired effect, he thought,
stepping from the elevator. He and Scully were back on the
x-files, going undercover as a married couple in a planned
community where three other married couples had gone
missing without a trace. It was to be their first case
back.

But NOW there were strings attached.

Special Agent Diana Fowley was liaison between them and
Skinner's office. A glorified way of saying they had to
answer to her. Every piece of information they acquire, now
has to go through HER first - then Skinner.

Mulder thought back for a second on the meeting that served
to let him know he could continue his life's work, at the
same time it told him there was always a price to be paid
for disobedience.

When he'd asked Skinner who sent down the order for a
liaison, all Skinner said was that it didn't come from his
office, but was an anonymous request from someone in a
higher branch of the government.

Mulder shook his head as he walked down the hall thinking
of his partner's reaction to that little piece of news.

It wasn't pretty.

She'd thought the whole thing was concocted as another way
to stop them from getting too close to the truth - and to
keep them away from the man who was slowly becoming known
as their ally: Assistant Director Walter Skinner.

What else could he do, Mulder reasoned to himself, but give
her his honest opinion on the subject? He'd told her she
was letting her personal feelings color her judgement.
Diana made no secret of her interest in the X-Files; it
wasn't surprising that she would volunteer to be more
directly involved if the opportunity arose.

He grinned, thinking of Scully's response to his opinion.
It was...NOT for delicate ears.

He didn't know what had gotten into his petite partner
lately. She was beginning to live up to her red-headed
heritage, becoming a veritable spitfire now.

But no matter. He secretly loved it when she swore at
him - it was so...Unscullylike, he thought with a chuckle.
Rounding the corner, he thought of what brought him to
these hallowed halls today.

He'd received a call from Skinner's secretary, telling him
he had a meeting. He'd tried calling Scully then too, but
again, he'd gotten no answer.

After they'd wrapped up their last case, she told him she
was taking off for the weekend. Then the weekend became ten
days and he still couldn't reach her, though he was told
that she had sent in a request for more time off.

He wasn't even sure if she'd been contacted about this
meeting but, as he opened the door to Skinner's outer
office, he certainly hoped so...he missed her.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" he asked, after being
announced by Skinner's secretary and taking a seat.

Noting his bosses' trademark stony stare, Mulder sat
quietly and waited, not even blinking an eye at being
studied intensely by the man who had gone from being his
boss - and ass-kicker, to being his ally and ass-kicker.
They'd played this scenario out so many times in the past
that by now, it was old hat.

Skinner leaned back in his chair and continued to silently
stare at the man sitting so calmly before him. The only
agent under him that manages to be both the bane of his
existence, and someone so devoted to the truth that he
secretly admired him.

The road has been rocky, with many twists and turns, and he
wondered, with some trepidation, what new twist this
meeting would come to represent. But that could wait.

Skinner had a question for his rogue agent.

"What's going on between you and Agent Scully?"

"I'm sorry sir? What do you mean?" Mulder asked cautiously.

"Agent Mulder," Skinner began with a sigh, "You and Agent
Scully had a focus that, combined, made you one of the most
effective partnerships in the Bureau and a way of
communicating - a short hand that didn't require words. At
first, I thought you just needed to find your rhythm again
but - you two are just not on the same page anymore. I want
to know why."

Mulder froze as the nightmare that he'd been having for the
last few weeks, came painfully to life. There WAS a
distance between them. One that had him up late at night,
pacing the floor, trying to figure out just when it
happened.

Trying to find a way to bridge the slow, but steadily
increasing gap between him and his partner of 6 years.
He was just too afraid to talk about it for fear that he
would damage the partnership even more. Things were bad,
but they were still together, and no one else had noticed.
Or so he thought. He should have known that, if anyone was
going to notice, it would be Skinner.

Realizing that he had been sitting silently for several
minutes without answering Skinner's question, he opened his
mouth to speak, not having a clue as to what he was going
to say.

"Sir-"

Luckily, a brisk knock at the door gave him a reprieve. The
person behind that knock?

Diana Fowley.

While she made her apologies for being late and took a
seat, both Skinner and Mulder eyed each other accusingly.
What the hell was going on?

< Enough of this>, Skinner thought. < Let's get on with it>.
Before he could utter a word though, Fowley beat him to it.

"OK Fox, what's this all about?"

Mulder looked at her in surprise. "I thought Skinner called
this meeting".

Now it was Skinner's turn to be surprised. "I received a
call from my secretary telling me someone had requested a
meeting at this date and time. I had assumed it was you
Agent Mulder."

"No Sir. I received a similar call."

"She called me too," added Diana.

Determined to get to the bottom of it, Skinner buzzed his
secretary, and asked her to come into the office. A few
moments later, she walked nervously into the room, just
inside the door.

"Did you call Agent's Mulder and Fowley and myself to set
up this meeting?"

"Y-Yes," she stammered, clearing her suddenly dry throat.

"Why?" he asked, with more bewilderment than anger.

A clear and strong voice from behind her had Mulder's heart
thudding.

"Because I asked her to."

With those words, and a squeeze of reassurance for
Skinner's secretary, Special Agent Dana Scully, resplendent
in a tailored tan skirt suit, and a file in her hand,
entered the room.

"I apologize for my methods, sir. I would ask that you not
hold it against her, and that she be allowed to stay and
take notes."

Feeling really bewildered now, Skinner agreed as he glanced
at Mulder to get an idea of what this was all about.

No answers there.

Mulder's attention was completely focused on the woman he
hadn't seen or talked to in 10 days.

As Mulder watched her taking the empty seat next to him, he
was struck by a momentary feeling of helplessness. He was
again, slapped by the distance between them. She hadn't
looked at him or acknowledged him since she walked into the
room.

He needed to make things right. Mind made up, his features
turning into a mask of determination, he promised himself
if he had to carry her kicking and screaming to his
apartment and tie her to the couch in his living room, they
would work it out. All of it. And she wasn't leaving until
they did.

Scully took a deep breath and opened the file she carried
into the room. Locating the form she was looking for, she
handed it to Skinner, without a word.

Skinner tried to gauge her mood by searching her face for
clues, but her features were smooth - her expression blank,
and he soon gave up to concentrate on the piece of paper
before him.

Mulder watched as Skinner blanched, then reddened, and he
wondered just what was on that piece of paper Scully had
just handed him. Fighting a growing sense of dread, he
again tried to make eye contact with Scully.

Again she didn't look at him.

"Agent Scully" Skinner began, "what is this about? I
assumed if you were having problems with your current
assignment, you would come to me, before taking this kind
of action. This is not proper procedure or protocol Agent.
I never thought I'd have to remind *you*of that."

"What kind of action?" Mulder asked, a headache starting to
join his thudding heart.

Ignoring Mulder's question, Scully answered Skinner's.

"I apologize for not following proper procedure Sir. It
certainly was not meant to be of any disrespect to you. I
just felt this was the best way to handle the situation."

Behind the 2 agents, Diana Fowley, shifted uncomfortably in
her seat. Something about this made her nervous.

Skinner was trying to clamp down on the inevitable guilt he
was now feeling, realizing that if he didn't, there might
not be any way to salvage the situation. He had KNOWN there
was something wrong, he should have done something when he
first noticed.

But he didn't have time for guilt. He needed to focus his
attention on a way to buy enough time to find out what was
really going on here. He glanced at Mulder for a moment in
sympathy. From his question and the fear that was very
visible on his face, Scully never discussed this with him.

Poor bastard.

Returning his attention to Scully, he said, "after all that
you have been through in these past 6 years, and all you
have learned about the future, these past several weeks,
you think the best way to handle this is to transfer OUT of
the X-files?"

"WHAT??? Scully, No!!!" Mulder shouted, as behind him,
Diana Fowley closed her eyes in reaction.

Scully was walking out.

Though her voice trembled slightly, her resolve was evident
in her response.

"Agents Mulder and Fowley are more than capable of handling
the field, and I can do more good in the lab overseeing the
research team assigned to combat the virus. I'm still
fighting sir, just changing battle positions."

Momentarily breaking eye contact with Scully, Skinner
skewered Mulder with a look that said < DO SOMETHING, DAMN
IT!>

But Mulder could do nothing. His world had just fallen
apart. < O my god, she is walking out> repeated itself over
and over in his head, and his heart was squeezing the life
out of him. He had to concentrate just to breathe.

Amazingly enough, the next volley came from Fowley.

"Look Agent Scully, I know what this is about and-"

"All I need is your signature, Sir," Scully said,
addressing herself to Skinner, and effectively cutting her
off.

Still unable to speak, Mulder looked at Skinner, and tried
to convey his feelings.< Please don't let her do it, sir>

Skinner looked down for a moment, feeling torn. "Agent
Scully, you are putting me in a very difficult position
here".

Reaching into the file again, she pulled out a 2nd piece of
paper, and placed it on the desk.

Again, without a word.

Both Skinner and Mulder eyed the second piece of paper
apprehensively. What now? He didn't know about Skinner, but
Mulder didn't think he could handle any more.

Skinner read the letter thoughtfully worded, carefully
typed and neatly signed and shook his head in disbelief.

"Resignation agent Scully? You would resign from the FBI?
You're telling me it's transfer or nothing?" Skinner asked,
momentarily losing his tight control on his temper.

Mulder closed his eyes, as he felt his heart just break. He
was sure everyone could hear it shattering into tiny little
pieces. He was positive they could see the blood dripping
>from his wounds.

Scully's resolve wavered for a moment and she risked a
quick glance at Mulder out of the corner of her eye, before
hurriedly looking back down at her clasped hands. He was
hurting. Well, so was she.

Strengthening her resolve, she looked at Skinner
determinedly as she answered his question. "Yes sir. It's
transfer or nothing."

At her words, whatever had paralyzed Mulder from the moment
she started the conversation, let him go and he exploded
into action, at the same time as Agent Fowley.

< Resignation?> Diana thought, even as she started to berate
Scully for not talking over this kind of a major move with
her partner or with her: the person with whom she *really*
had the problem.

At the same time, Mulder was trying to find out why Scully
wanted to throw away 6 years of partnership, without even
bothering to talk with him. How could she trust him with
her life, but NOT trust him with her feelings?

But Scully never focused on either of them, choosing
instead, to concentrate her attention on a response from
Skinner that would end this hell.

She didn't know how much more of this she was going to be
able to take so, in the midst of all of the chaos, she
masked her features and locked gazes with him.

Skinner's eyes widened in shock. For the first time since
she'd walked into his office, Scully's feelings were
clearly evident in her face.

She meant it.

She was walking, whether he or Mulder liked it or not.
He never thought he'd see the day. Not when it came to the
X-Files...or Agent Mulder, when Scully would CHOOSE to
leave. 'They' had tried everything, including trying to
kill her, to break them up and nothing worked. He supposed
he figured nothing ever could.

Apparently, he was wrong.

Breaking eye contact, Skinner thought fast. If he didn't
sign the transfer, Scully would walk, and knowing her
determination they'd never find her again, she'd make sure
of it. Or...maybe she wouldn't - but he couldn't take that
chance.

Momentarily blinded by a sheen of tears, Skinner blinked
and looked up apologetically at Mulder.

"You're not going to do it, are you? You can't! Not without
giving us a chance to work this out! Damn it Skinner, you
didn't let ME resign-"

"Nor will I let Agent Scully," Skinner interrupted, and,
picking up the letter, tore it into little pieces.

Mulder gave a premature sigh of relief, leaning back in his
chair, forgetting for a moment, the dual nature of Scully's
ultimatum.

After tearing up the letter, Skinner picked up his pen and
prepared to do the one thing that he knew would look like a
betrayal of trust to Agent Mulder. Closing his eyes for a
moment, he thought < This the only way I can buy some time>
and with that thought as his primary motivation, he signed
the official termination of one of the most effective
partnerships in the FBI. < Damn>

Mulder was shocked. Skinner had done it.

And for the second time in this meeting, he was
paralyzed and speechless.

"Thank you sir," Scully said.

Putting the form back into her file, Scully rose to leave.
She knew she had to do this quickly. Before Mulder
recovered from his shock. It was almost done.

"Agent Scully?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Take care of yourself."

"You too, Sir. You too."

As she turned to leave, Scully reminded herself that she
had one more thing to take care of and set her sights on
the woman beginning to rise from her chair. She had a very
private, woman to woman message for one Diana Fowley.

Walking across the room, Scully pinned her where she stood
with eyes of blue steel. In a voice cold enough to chill
and low enough not to be overheard, she spoke.

"Take care of him, or you will answer to me. Understand me
on this Agent Fowley. You hurt him, or even let someone
else hurt him, there will be NO place you can hide."

Diana stared at the woman who had just become a small red-
headed terminator, and believed every word she said.

Assured that her message was received, Scully opened the
door, and walked out of the office.

As soon as the door was closed, she heard a great deal of
commotion and confusion inside. No surprise there. But she
could not focus on that right now.

"I did it. It's done," she whispered to herself, as she
leaned back against the door. Of course she knew that
wasn't entirely true. Not if she knew her partner.
< Ex-partner> she thought, as a wave of pain washed over
her.

When she felt the jiggle of the doorknob, she knew she had
to get out of there fast. She needed to get a big enough
lead to make it to the elevators before he could stop her.

She could never go through with this if she had to face him
just now.

And so, though it was easy way out, she broke into a trot,
in an effort to allude the man that had been a part of her
life - a part of her, for 6 years.

Mulder spotted her instantly and started walking quickly to
stop her, understanding that she probably thought that by
walking out on him in public, she would avoid the showdown
that would surely occur if she were to face him in private.
After 6 years together, she should know him better than
that.

"Scully! Scully wait! Why won't you talk to me, damn it!
Scully!" he said desperately, not even caring about making
a scene in the semi-secluded hallway.

Tears rolled freely down Scully's cheeks as her heart
broke.

Because she was blinded by the tears she was sure would
become a fixture in her life, at least for the immediate
future, she sensed more that saw the elevator arriving.
< Thank you>

Mulder realized that he wasn't going to catch up to her in
time to stop her from getting on the elevator. She was
stepping on it right now, though she was facing the wall.

< Here then dammit, if that's the way you want it!> he
thought. So he stopped, a foot away, and said the one thing
that would encompass all the hurt, betrayal, and
bewilderment he was feeling.

"YOU SAID YOUR PLACE WAS WITH ME NOW!!!" he shouted, just
now realizing the tears rolling down his face.

At this, Scully halted the elevator doors, which were
beginning to close. She'd hoped to avoid this. By planning
and executing her transfer in this manner, she thought she
could avoid - or at least delay - the inevitable. This was
harder than even she'd anticipated and she felt out of
control.

SO out of control that she was about to do something
completely uncharacteristic for her. But her sense of
integrity wouldn't allow her to do anything else.

< This just isn't fair>, she thought, < he at least needs to
know.> So she prepared to face the man that was her
partner, colleague, friend, one more time. Taking a deep
breath, she turned to him.

And when she did it was like a punch in the gut to him.
< My God, she's crying, why is she doing this?>

Well, she was finally looking at him, and he had her
attention, but the only thing he could do was hold on to
the wall for support, and the only words he could utter
were-

"God, Scully, you're crying."

"So are you," she replied. In a state of shock, Scully
stared. < Are those tears for me?> she thought.

Mistaking her shock for hope, Mulder tried inching his way
a little closer to her, but was stopped when she took her
finger off the hold button.

"Scully-"

"I love you, Mulder."

Mulder's knees buckled.

As the elevator doors closed, he simply couldn't hold
himself up any longer. The wall he was leaning on was now
used to brace him as he slid to the floor. He never dared
to even DREAM those words from her - except maybe in that
hazy time between sleep and wakefulness, when he just
couldn't stop his heart from wishing it's desire.

And now it's been given to him, at the very same moment
that it walks right out of his life.

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End of Part (1/4)
Continued in part 2