The Fox Mulder Estrogen Brigade
By Gwendolyn (gwen831015@aol.com)
Summary: Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley show up together to work on a case
with Mulder and Scully involving the abduction/murder of a British Diplomat.
Classification: MSR, Humor, Plot: negligible
Rated: PG-13 for some cussin' and blatant sexual harassment.
Archive: Please, by all means. Just keep my name attached an no one will get
hurt *g*
Spoilers: Through "The End." No movie spoilers.
Disclaimer: Assume the usual groveling before the Alter of CC and 1013
applies.
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The Fox Mulder Estrogen Brigade
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Special Agent Fox Mulder was an intuitive man. It's the only way he could have
known before he turned around that he probably shouldn't turn around. But
Special Agent Fox Mulder was also an adventurous man, one who didn't always
give a lot of forethought to the consequences of his actions. So he turned
around and, as was often the case, regretted the action immediately.
His head was cocked downward so that what he first saw upon the turning were
two sets of high-heeled shoes encasing two pairs of dainty feet, attached to
two sets of great legs, leading to the expensively clad forms and aristocratic
faces of two beautiful women he was less than thrilled to see.
My God, my God, he thought, why have you forsaken me?
"Phoebe. Diana." He croaked the words before clearing his throat. The dread
that filled him mutated quickly into a hollow ache forming itself in the pit of
his lower intestines, overshadowing for an instant his absolute shock at seeing
the two women together.
"Hi Fox," they said in unison. They laughed throatily at having spoken his name
in stereo sound.
Shit. Fuck. Damn. An image of the evil cloned Eves briefly flashed through his
horrified mind.
"Wha...what are you doing here?" he stuttered, stepping forward with his left
foot then leaning back on the heel again.
Striding toward him, Phoebe started, "Well Fox, when an English Diplomat is
abducted from the British Embassy, Scotland Yard sends in the very best. Now
that he's turned up dead, it ups the stakes all the more." She stepped in close
and raised her hand to straighten his tie in a possessive gesture, ignoring his
pained expression. He glanced over at Diana.
"This is my first assignment since I got out of the hospital," Agent Fowley
stated, inching her way more subtly towards him. "I was called in because of
the terrorist angle." She stopped just behind Phoebe's right shoulder.
"Have any groups claimed responsibility?" he managed to ask.
"Eight so far, including a couple of ex-IRA extremists. I don't think any of
them are really responsible. I'm much more interested in the angle you're
pursuing, Fox." Diana's voice was all crisp professionalism but she was
bestowing her well-rehearsed Mona Lisa smile on the man before her. Mulder had
a distant recollection of being very aroused by that smile.
Standing back from Mulder, Phoebe scanned the conference room of the New York
City FBI Field Office currently serving as headquarters to the investigation
into the mysterious abduction and murder of Sir Dalton Boyle.
"So where's that little partner of yours? Diana?" she asked pointedly.
"Dana," Diana interjected quickly. "She's Dana. I'm Diana."
"Oh, so sorry Agent Fowley."
"It's an easy mistake. You know our last names kind of rhyme too. Scul-ly.
Fow-ley," she said, emphasizing the names' second syllables, "quite a
coincidence wouldn't you say Fox?"
The last thing he needed to do was get into a discussion about Scully with
these two vipers. "She's doing the autopsy right now. And she prefers petite.
You don't want to know what happened to the last person who called her
'little'."
"Mmmmm..." Phoebe practically purred, "duly noted. So what's on the agenda for
today Fox?"
"Yes, Fox, I'd like to join you. I assume you'll be interviewing Suzy Amos,"
Diana said, referring to the sole eyewitness of the kidnapping.
Finding it difficult to focus effectively on the case at hand Mulder mumbled,
"Mulder."
"What's that Fox? I couldn't hear you," Phoebe asked.
"I said MULDER," he stated more loudly. "I prefer Mulder. I've always hated the
name Fox. You both know that." He loathed the petulant tone that had crept into
his voice.
Diana spoke as if addressing a child. "Oh, Fox. We discussed this before. You
only insist on being called by your last name as a way to distance yourself
from the people who care about you. It's not healthy. I refuse to be stopped by
this emotional road block you insist on erecting."
"Does that tiny partner of yours still call you Mulder?" Phoebe asked, snorting
unattractively.
He backed up from her and crossed his arms protectively over his chest before
replying. "As a matter of fact she does. I asked Scully not to call me Fox,
because I HATE THE NAME, and *she* respected my wishes."
"And you still call her Scully. How terribly sweet," Phoebe goaded.
Rolling his eyes, Mulder held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Call me
whatever you want. Just leave Scully out of it. And to answer your question,
Agent Fowley, yes, I'm going to interview Suzy Amos. Although I doubt it'll do
any good. Her story's pretty out there, even for me, and she's not exactly a
reliable witness." Pausing, he inclined his head toward Phoebe Green, "I
suppose you'll want to join us Inspector?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Fox."
As Mulder stalked towards the door, the two women exchanged knowing grins and
walked after him. He was sure he could hear the hounds of hell yapping at the
heels of his Florsheim shoes.
**********
Mulder sat in the love seat wedged between Phoebe and Diana. Suzy sat across
from them on a rickety wood foldout chair, her Manhattan apartment roughly the
size of his closet at home. His nose twitched at the overwhelming smell of what
he could only assume was estrogen permeating the room. Closing his eyes
briefly, Mulder wished for Scully to appear. Opening them again, he glanced
around only to find the three women watching him expectantly.
Making sure his shoulders were squeezed in as closely as possible to his body
and keeping his hands on his lap lest he accidentally brush against the women
flanking him, Mulder focused his attention on Suzy. He knew from the file that
she was twenty-two but she looked closer to thirty. Her hair was a muted copper
shade that had obviously been through more than several bottles of dye over the
years. She held a cigarette in her right hand, dragging on it occasionally as
she gave Fox Mulder the once-over, followed closely by the twice-over, licking
highly glossed lips. Suzy looked like she'd been rode hard and put up wet,
every inch the career prostitute.
He decided to get the interview over with as quickly as possible so he could
get to Scully and find out the results of the autopsy. "Miss Amos..."
"Oh Fox, you can call me Suzy," she said with a wave of her cigarette clutching
hand.
"OK, Suzy. You can call me Agent Mulder." She grinned at him lasciviously in
response.
Phoebe leaned over to whisper wetly in his ear. "You know Fox, I bet if you ask
nicely, she'll give you a freebie." He shuddered in response. This is hell, he
thought, and I'm in the second circle.
"Suzy, was Mr. Boyle a client of yours?"
"Yeah, but it was only the second time we had a date. Ricky, that's my manager,
set us up. We met in this real fancy motel down by the Embassy. He paid for a
whole night. Kinky guy. Those Brits man, they seem so uptight and all but
they're real pervs."
Mulder and Diana both turned sharply toward Phoebe who simply shrugged.
"Please continue," Diana said turning her attention back to Suzy.
"Yeah. So, anyway, I guess it was like two in the morning. We were ready for a
break and Dalton thought it'd be fun to go back to his office at the Embassy.
Sneak in, you know and do it on the desk, the copy machine, whatever. So I
figured, what the hell, you know and we went."
She paused to take another puff of the cigarette before continuing more
excitedly than before. "So anyway, we were in his office just getting started
when there was like these really bright lights through the window. His office
is on the backside of the building you know, so the light was coming from the
alleyway. He said we had to go see what it was which I thought was awfully
strange considering that, you know, he wouldn't want to be seen with me. But we
went and there it was."
She stopped, ashes falling from the still dangling cigarette as her hand shook,
her pupils dilated.
Mulder glanced at his watch. Scully would be finishing up soon and he'd already
read Suzy's account from the original police interrogation. "OK," he said
tersely, "finish up."
"Oh yeah. Where was I?" Suzy asked, with a shake of her head.
"Bright lights, UFO, Little Green Men, yadda, yadda, yadda," Mulder said
impatiently.
"They weren't green."
"Gray?" Diana asked, her interest piqued.
Suzy looked at the well-coifed FBI Agent like she was certifiable. "Gray? No.
They were clowns."
"Well, I don't know what other kind they'd be coming out of that spaceship. It
looked kind of like a hovering VW Beetle with lots of flashing lights, not that
big you know, but there were dozens and dozens of the creepiest looking clowns
I've ever seen coming out of it, one after the other and just sort of floating
down to the ground. I still don't know how they all managed to fit in there.
There was this bright flash and I couldn't see for a minute. Then when I looked
again, they were gone and so was Dalton."
Mulder's cell phone rang and all three women turned to watch him as he answered
it.
"Mulder...Hi Scully...OK, I'm on my way." Hanging up the phone he said to no
one in particular, "Scully's finishing up the autopsy right now, I need to get
going." He gingerly extricated himself from the love seat and inclined his head
toward Suzy. "Thanks for your cooperation."
Phoebe and Diana followed suit and the trio walked out the door and down the
hallway.
"You know," Mulder said, glancing over his shoulder, "there's no reason for you
two to come with me. It's just dry forensics stuff. I'll send a copy of the
report to you."
"Oh Fox, don't be silly. Of course we'll come," Diana intoned sweetly.
Phoebe broke in with a Cheshire cat grin, "Besides, Fox, I look forward to
seeing Dora again. It's been too long."
With an inward groan, Mulder accepted defeat and proceeded toward the
inevitable.
**********
Dana Scully had draped a sheet over the victim and was standing with her back
to the door removing her latex gloves when Mulder walked in with a slight rap
on the wall to announce his entrance.
She swiveled to face him, "Mulder..." she said, stopping dead in her tracks as
Phoebe and Diana came up behind him.
Betraying her surprise with a slightly exaggerated arch of her right eyebrow,
Scully took a moment to reflect before speaking.
"I see you brought your backup singers with you."
"Yeah, and it's been a steady chorus of Fox Fox Fox all day long," he
sing-songed as he quickly distanced himself from Diana and Phoebe to stand in
front of his partner. Scully was still wearing her scrubs and the shower cap
she had donned to perform the autopsy. Her make-up had all but rubbed off
allowing her freckles to make a rare appearance, the glasses she was wearing
had specks of Mulder didn't want to know what on them and she smelled like
formaldehyde. Having been surrounded by the musky designer perfumes that Phoebe
and Diana favored, Mulder decided he liked formaldehyde better. He also decided
that Scully looked mighty fine in those glasses, with or without the
accompanying sludge. He had to restrain himself from hugging her in relief and
gratitude. Scully took one look at his face and decided that jealousy of the
two women still in the doorway would be a wasted emotion. The man had obviously
been miserable. With a mental shrug, she decided to ignore them.
"So Mulder, how did it go with Suzy Amos?" she asked as Phoebe and Diana closed
in, positioning themselves slightly behind and to either side of Mulder.
"Hello Dara," Phoebe interrupted with saccharine sweetness, "it's so nice to
see you again."
"Hi Phoebe," she answered, "it's not Dara. It's Dr. Scully."
Turning her attention, Scully addressed Diana with genuine concern, "How have
you been Diana? I was so happy to hear about your recovery."
"Better than ever and ready for action," Diana responded, a slight challenge in
her voice. Scully merely nodded.
Deciding they'd filled their quota of pleasant chit-chat, Mulder stepped closer
to Scully and bent over slightly so that his nose was only a hair's breadth
from her forehead, effectively blocking the other women from her view.
"Ms. Amos stuck to her alien clown story. Amazing how a bloodstream full of
mind-altering chemicals can alter your vision. What did the autopsy turn up?"
"Mr. Boyle was shot three times with no other apparent external trauma. The
shots were to his chest, his left leg above the knee and his right shoulder.
But none of those shots were what killed him..."
"Are you sure?" Diana interrupted.
She'd forgotten they were even there. Blinking in surprise Scully moved her
head, first to the left then to the right of Mulder's, to see that Diana and
Phoebe were now pressing against his back. She looked back up at Mulder as he
glanced heavenward in exasperation.
"Pretty damn sure," she said lightly, eliciting a grin from her partner.
"Any idea what did kill him?" he asked.
"Well, we'll have to wait for the tox report to come back but if I had to
venture a guess, I'd say a Banana Cream Pie," she answered as she nonchalantly
reached up and pulled the shower cap off her head.
"A what?" Phoebe and Diana chorused.
Looking over his shoulder, Mulder intoned sarcastically, "A pie whose primary
ingredients include bananas and cream."
"And in this case, poison," Scully added. "Sir Boyle was killed approximately
three days after his abduction. Inflammation in his throat and stomach
indicates some sort of toxin consumed orally. The only food in his stomach that
had been consumed in that three- day period was a banana cream pie, eaten
shortly before the time of death."
"Don't you both think it's a little odd that Dalton Boyle was apparently killed
by an extraterrestrial clown with a banana cream pie?"
Not bothering to answer Phoebe, Scully patted Mulder on the shoulder in a show
of support as she brushed past him, "I'm going to go change. We're not going to
know anything until those tox reports get in anyway. You ready to head back to
the hotel Mulder?"
"Yeah. I'll wait for you out front."
"Fine. It was nice to see you Diana. Phoebe."
"Actually *Dr.* Scully, we're all staying at the same hotel so we'll see you
there. Perhaps we could all have dinner together?" Phoebe asked.
Now it was Mulder and Scully's turn to speak in unison. "No."
Clearing his throat, Mulder turned towards his two ex-chickadees, "Scully and I
already have other plans," he lied, "but thanks anyway."
Diana pouted, "Come on Fox, you owe me. Remember the ring?"
"Sorry Diana. We have other plans."
Scully shot Mulder a curious look from her position near the door. He slid her
a guilty sideways glance, vainly hoping that she hadn't heard Diana. Have to
remember to ask him about that one later, she thought.
Phoebe looked curiously from Mulder to Diana, deciding Diana was more likely to
elaborate. "Remind me to ask you about that one later," she told her new
cohort.
"Over dinner," Diana answered with a nod, "since Fox and Dana already have
plans, we can talk about him and his ring to our hearts' content."
Looking into Scully's curious blue eyes from across the room, Mulder could tell
that they'd be talking about the ring tonight too. He added this fact to his
growing list of REALLY ANNOYING THINGS ABOUT DIANA AND PHOEBE as she turned and
walked through the door to the locker room.
Back at the hotel, Mulder reclined on his bed flipping channels with the remote
control and popping sunflower seeds into his mouth from the bag sitting on his
chest. He'd changed into a pair of comfortable jeans and a favorite gray
T-shirt. Setting down the remote, he ran his fingers underneath the wire framed
glasses perched on his nose and rubbed his eyes in an effort to alleviate some
of the tension that had been building there since he'd first seen Phoebe and
Diana earlier in the day. He didn't doubt that they'd show up to darken his
door first thing in the morning. He refused to even think about the ring.
"What ring?" Scully asked from behind, startling him into an upright position.
Looking over his shoulder, Mulder found Scully leaning against the doorframe
that connected their two rooms. She had changed into jeans and one of her dozen
or so almost identical v-necked blouses. Her arms crossed in front of her, she
regarded him like one of the samples under her microscope.
"Scully, I'm tired. It's been a shitty day. This case is ridiculous and I have
the Witches of Eastwick out there nipping at my heels..."
"I don't think they're interested in nipping at your *heels*, Mulder."
"Whatever. Can we just drop it for now, please?"
"Nope," she said heartlessly, "spill it or I'll call up Phoebe and Diana and
tell them you're free for the evening after all."
"You're diabolical."
She smiled and walked over toward the bed, sitting down cross-legged and facing
him. "Come on Mulder, inquiring minds want to know. I'll even buy you dinner as
a reward."
"I'd rather starve."
"Tell," she said forcefully.
"OK, Scully. But it wasn't exactly my proudest moment," Mulder began, deciding
to get through it as quickly as possible. "Diana and I had been seeing each
other for a while but I was just stumbling into the X-Files and all of a
sudden, I guess I just wasn't as interested in the relationship as I had been.
She wanted a commitment and even started talking about marriage.
"Well, I sort of freaked out about that. You may not know this about me,
Scully, but I have a bit of a problem with intimacy, which Phoebe probably had
a little something to do with." He stopped to gauge Scully's reaction; she only
nodded sagely and arched her brow to indicate that he should continue.
"Anyway, she had to go out of the country for a few months on assignment, so
instead of making a clean break with her like I should have, I said that during
the time she was away we should take some time off, see other people. I was
hoping that while she was gone she'd realize what a basket case I was and meet
somebody else and dump me."
"But that didn't happen?"
"No. She kept calling and writing to me the whole time she was gone and when it
got time for her to come back, I panicked. So..." he paused briefly, averting
his eyes from his partner's intense gaze and bowing his head before continuing
in a rush "I decided to tell her I'd married somebody else. I bought a ring and
everything."
Mulder stopped and looked up at Scully through his eyelashes waiting for the
onslaught. Silence reigned for a moment before she spoke again. "She didn't buy
it, did she?"
"Just for a couple of days or so. It wasn't one of my more brilliant plans. I
kept the ring for a while after that though. I found out it was a good way of
avoiding unwanted attention."
"Mulder, I'm having trouble believing you'd do something like that. You're one
of the most forthright people I know. Why not just break it off with her
honestly?"
"She wouldn't take no for an answer, Scully," he replied, his voice rising a
notch in self-defense. "Diana's very persistent when she wants something and
for some reason, she wanted me. Knowing that I faked the whole marriage thing
made her realize how hopeless I was and she finally took the permanent
assignment overseas."
"So it worked?"
"Yes, it worked."
"And that made it all right?"
"No," he answered slowly, "of course not."
Knowing that his only chance of getting out of the conversation with any
immediacy was to make the kicked puppy-dog face, Mulder promptly did so. She
gave him an icy glare usually reserved for former Nazis and serial killers
before unfolding her legs and pushing herself off the bed.
"Well, Mulder, it was a cowardly and despicable act but I wasn't around to keep
you in line back then so I suppose I'll have to let it slide." The note of
exasperated amusement in Scully's voice buoyed his spirits considerably.
"Scully, if you were around back then, Diana wouldn't have stood a chance."
His tone was light but Scully's eyes caught his and she saw the truth behind
the words. Their gazes held for a charged moment before she gathered her senses
with a visible shake of her head.
"So, I guess I owe you dinner Mulder. Where to?"
Mulder glanced toward the door nervously. "I'm a little scared to go out there
with those two on the prowl. How about room service?"
"Great. Ten dollars for a club sandwich. We can go over the case while we eat."
**********
An hour later, the partners were sitting on the floor of Scully's room,
surrounded by discarded plates and napkins as they discussed the case at hand.
Brushing her hair back in a frustrated gesture, Scully mumbled "Killer Clowns
from Outer Space" for about the twentieth time that evening. "Unbelievable."
"For what it's worth Scully, I think it's pretty unbelievable too. Although
aliens using German engineering to design their spaceships is not beyond the
realm of extreme possibilities."
"If it was political, what was the purpose? And why clowns? I hate clowns,
they're so creepy," Scully said with a shudder.
Amused, Mulder leaned forward, "It's OK Scully, lots of people are afraid of
clowns."
"I didn't say I was afraid of them Mulder. I said I *hate* them," she
emphasized with a grin.
They looked at each other for a long moment in easy silence. Mulder's mind
flashed briefly on stored images of Diana and Phoebe. There had been a time
when he would have greeted these women with mixed feelings. Feelings of longing
and pain, of desire mixed with distrust. Today he looked at them and compared
them to Scully. To say they suffered by the comparison would be a gross
understatement. He regarded his partner now with all the warmth and
appreciation he felt evident in his eyes.
She cleared her throat, "Mulder, wha...?" She stopped, interrupted first by the
ringing of her cell phone, then by the echoing knock on the outside door to
Mulder's room.
As Scully stood up to reach for the phone resting on her dresser, Mulder turned
his head toward his own room where the rapping on the door continued.
"Scully," she answered the phone, glancing at Mulder with a question in her
eyes.
"I'm not answering it, Scully. It's one of *them*!"
"I'm sorry, can you hold for a minute?" Scully asked before holding her hand
over the phone's mouthpiece and directing her attention to the man now kneeling
in front of her.
"Mulder, they're not going away. Just answer the door."
"No. You answer it, Scully. Please."
"I've got the lab technician on the phone. I have to take this call. Quit being
such a baby."
"I'm not being a baby!" he declared, his voice three octaves above its normal
manly range as he stood up.
"Then. Answer. The. Door." Exasperated now, Scully turned her back to him to
continue her phone conversation.
The knocking continued. Whoever was on the other side of his door was certainly
persistent, he thought. Must be Diana.
Deciding to play it safe, Mulder went to Scully's door and opening it
cautiously, peeked out into the hallway to see who was knocking on his door.
Eyes wide open in terror at the sight before him he quickly shut the door again
and leaned back against it for balance.
"Scully," he whispered melodramatically, "it's BOTH of them."
Back still turned Scully ignored him, phone in one ear and hand over the other.
Mulder jumped away from the door suddenly as a knock resounded against it.
"Fox, we know you're in there. We heard the door shut," Phoebe called out. He
stood back looking at the door indecisively. Maybe if he ignored them they'd go
away.
He heard Scully coming up behind him, still speaking in one word sentences to
the technician on the other end of the phone. Reaching around him, she blithely
turned the knob and opened the door waving Diana and Phoebe in. She smiled
close-mouthed at him in response to his unappreciative glare before turning her
back again and walking to the other side of the room.
"Well, don't you two have a cozy little set up?" Phoebe said with an
unattractive smirk.
Walking in behind Phoebe, Diana hiccuped a disjointed giggle as she ran into
the British Inspector. "Oops."
"Watch where you're going you drunken sod!" Phoebe screeched, allowing herself
to fall forward into Mulder's chest.
"Hey, don't play all high and mighty with me," Diana responded petulantly,
"you're just as drunk as I am. And get your hands off him."
Mulder gracelessly disentangled himself from Phoebe's clutches and climbed
backward over Scully's bed to escape. Falling to the floor on the other side,
he quickly picked himself up and turned to look at his partner beseechingly.
Relenting, Scully turned around to face him as she ended her call.
"Barium," she said matter-of-factly.
"No, Tequila," Phoebe said, laughing at her own feeble joke.
"That's not funny Phoebe. This is a high-stake murder investigation," Diana
said with mock seriousness before submitting to a case of the giggles.
"You look uptight Fox," Phoebe pointed out as she noted Mulder's rigid stance.
Kneeling on the bed, she started crawling toward where he stood on the other
side. "Whatza matter? Not gettin' any? Jesus, Fox, when was the last time you
got laid anyway?"
"That's enough Phoebe," he said firmly as he backed away.
"Really Phoebe, that's just crude," Diana declared as she lost her balance and
fell onto the bed herself.
Turning toward Diana, Phoebe sat down in the middle of the bed with a sigh of
disgust. "You Americans are so damn prudish."
"Yeah, well, if it wasn't for us you'd be speaking German right now," Diana
said in the tone of voice reserved by Americans for telling the English and the
French that if it wasn't for us they'd be speaking German right now.
Still retreating, Mulder bumped into Scully who forwarded a steadying arm. He
looked over his shoulder at her. She winked at him. Suddenly he saw the humor
in the situation and stifled a laugh. Turning back to what he was beginning to
think of as "The Diana and Phoebe Show," Mulder saw that both women had flopped
over into recumbent poses on Scully's King Size bed. Heaving a sigh he walked
to the dresser and leaned back against it, arms folded.
"Barium's pretty easy to come by isn't it?" he asked Scully who moved to take
position on the edge of the bed, keeping a healthy distance between herself and
the other two women.
"Yes. It would be difficult to trace back to its source. We're probably back to
the terrorist angle."
"I don't think so," Diana chimed in, her voice muffled by the arm she had
thrown over her face, "doesn't fit the profile of any of the organizations I'm
familiar with. No demands or apparent motive; Sir Boyle was not a high-ranking
or high profile diplomat. Doesn't make any sense."
"Hell," Phoebe said propping herself up on her elbows, "it was probably the
damn pimp and his ridiculous whore."
"Hey. That's a good idea," Diana declared, turning onto her side to face Phoebe
"I bet it was Ricky the Pimp! I bet he was gonna blackmail Boyle or something
and the plan went *awry*." She exaggerated the last word with a hiccup.
"Mmm...but what about the clowns?" Phoebe asked.
"A simple figment of Suzy's imagination," Diana answered with a negligent wave
of her hand.
Mulder looked at Scully and Scully looked at Mulder, each discerning the
other's thoughts perfectly. They nodded in agreement. Damn it if Diana and
Phoebe weren't right.
"You know, the clowns could have been a manifestation of a pre-existing phobia.
Some people are very afraid of clowns," he said with a nearly imperceptible
nod at Scully.
"Many drug induced hallucinations involve flying saucers and accounts of
extraterrestrial phenomena," she added.
"Besides which," Diana said, flopping on her back once again, "Ricky was most
likely her dealer anyway. He probably suggested the events to her while she was
drugged because he knew that if she was questioned the ridiculousness of the
story would throw the police off, right Phoebe?"
Phoebe's only reply was an unladylike snore. Arms wrapped tightly around the
pillow she'd grabbed earlier; Inspector Phoebe Green slept the sleep of the
recently inebriated.
"Hell, she's sleeping it off already," Diana said to the ceiling with a yawn,
"what a good idea." With that, she too closed her eyes and drifted off.
"Mulder, this is *my* room. They can't sleep here," Scully remarked.
Ignoring her predicament for the moment, Mulder reached for her cell phone.
"I'm gonna call Detective Sykes and have him bring Ricky in for questioning.
With any luck they'll have a confession out of him by morning and we can get
the hell out of here."
As Mulder made the call, Scully walked around the bed to where Phoebe lay and
shook the woman's shoulder in an attempt to wake her. Swatting her hand away,
Phoebe merely turned to her other side and continued to snore. Getting similar
results from Diana, Scully decided it wasn't worth the trouble and started
towards the connecting door to Mulder's room.
Shutting off the cell phone and setting it on the dresser, Mulder looked toward
Scully. "Where are you going?"
"I'm sleeping with you tonight," she responded with a yawn.
"Scully, you can sleep with me anytime," he said with a leer as he moved to
join her in his room.
"Settle down Mulder," she said pleasantly, "your room has the double beds,
remember?"
"Damn, I knew there had to be a catch."
**********
Special Agent Dana Scully looked at her partner, who stood phone to ear on the
other side of the hotel's restaurant. She couldn't stop the smile that lurked
at the corners of her delicately shaded lips. It had felt good to wake up with
Mulder, even if they were in separate beds. She'd turned over that morning to
find him watching her with the same expression he'd worn before they were so
rudely interrupted the night before. Thinking of Phoebe and Diana she had
grinned over at him, secure in the knowledge that if she'd ever been in
competition with the two women for Mulder's affection, she'd won.
Phoebe and Diana had left Scully's room sometime during the night, presumably
to return to their own. She only hoped she and Mulder could return to
Washington that day so they wouldn't have to deal with them again. She didn't
think Mulder could take much more, he was acting even more jumpy and paranoid
than usual. Ending his call, he strode toward her, a look of relief on his
face.
"Good news Scully. Ricky folded. Suzy Amos was in on the whole thing. They were
trying to blackmail Dalton Boyle but Boyle said he'd report them for
prostitution and drug trafficking as well as blackmail rather than pay, so they
panicked and kidnapped him. They kept him a few days before deciding to kill
him. They seemed to think the whole alien clown scenario was a stroke of genius
on their part."
"Well, it wasn't exactly our most intriguing case was it Mulder?" Scully asked
as he walked around the table and pulled her chair out for her. She rose to her
feet and purposefully positioned herself closely in front of him so he could
rest his hand on her lower back as they walked.
"Oh, I don't know Scully. It definitely had its high points..." he stopped in
mid-stride, looking toward the door. Scully looked ahead to see Phoebe and
Diana standing in the restaurant's doorway, perfectly coifed and clad once
again in high-priced designer suits.
"...and its low points," he continued, backing up instinctively as they zeroed
in and headed his way.
Some of life's most important and life-altering decisions are arrived at after
countless days of thought and planning. They are considered from every possible
angle, all the consequences contemplated. Studies are made to scientifically
determine to the minutest detail what the result of such decisions will be.
Alternately, some important and life-altering decisions are made purely by
instinct, suddenly and with very little forethought.
Scully made a decision. As the two women stalked towards them, she turned to
Mulder and quickly grabbed his jacket at the shoulders, pulling him toward her.
Mulder dipped slightly as he stumbled off-balance, shocked by her sudden
movements. Scully raised herself up on her toes and kissed him on the lips.
Hard.
Mulder could feel her teeth through her lips as she ground her mouth into his.
His right leg came up off the floor of its own volition and wrapped around her
as if to clasp her to him at the hips before settling firmly on the ground
again. There was nothing gentle or romantic in the kiss. It was pure bravado;
an action designed to establish territorial boundaries, to stake an undeniable
claim. Back off girls, this one's mine.
Breaking it off, Scully stepped back and searched Mulder's eyes to test his
reaction. Slightly dazed, he dropped his arms from her waist and stared at her
for a brief moment before raising his left hand to her cheek and caressing it
gently.
"That was pretty aggressive Scully. Some might even say that you're as bad as
Diana and Phoebe."
"But you wouldn't say that. Would you, Mulder?"
Dropping a gentle kiss on her lips and extending his fingers to stroke her
hair, Mulder replied, "No. I wouldn't say that at all."
They smiled again into each other's eyes before turning to face Diana and
Phoebe who had stopped about six feet from them. With a curt wave and a nod,
Mulder and Scully brushed by the gaping duo.
"It was nice working with both of you again," Scully called over her shoulder
as she breezed by them, her hand anchored firmly in Mulder's.
Diana and Phoebe merely stood mutely, backs still to the door for a moment
before Diana turned to her newfound friend, "So, do you think they'll invite us
to the wedding?"
Phoebe's reply was accompanied by a malicious grin.
"Who needs an invitation?"
----------------------------------------
The End
Author's note: I don't care if my accounting of "the ring" doesn't fit the
show's timeline; that's my story and I'm stickin' to it (the darn thing doesn't
really exist anyway) *G*
