Title: Dental Pleasure
Author: X_fairy (x_fairy@gmx.net)
Disclaimer: The X-files belong to CC and Mulder and Scully belong to each other, not to me! No infringement intended!
Rating: PG-13
Category: Fowl-fic
Spoilers: Unruhe
Archive: Anywhere, with my name and addy, but please let me know!
Feedback: Please! I LOVE e-mail!
Summary: Agent Fowley meets her dentist's holiday stand-in.
Author's notes: This story is compiled out of a few very different sources - methods of dental torment came from the musical 'Little Shop of Horrors', the cause for this visit to the dentist from a conversation on a mailing list about the questionable pleasure of having your wisdom teeth removed, and a few tidbits here and there from an ep of Columbo.
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Dental Pleasure
By X_fairy
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Diana Fowley sat in her dentist's waiting room, holding a huge pack of ice to the right side of her face. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid wisdom teeth! Mom was perfectly right when she wanted me to have them extracted at 17!' Her train of thought was interrupted when an intense surge of pain rushed through her teeth. She whined, that way earning an annoyed look from the young Japanese girl next to her.
Diana sighed with relief and jumped up when the doctor's assistant called, "The next please!" only to fall back into her chair when she heard the name, "Miss Nakamura!"
The girl rushed into the office. Diana went up to the counter to complain, according to her watch, her appointment was *right now*. She mumbled around her ice pack, with increasing difficulty proportional to her pain level, and even though the assistant didn't understand a single word, she took an educated guess and explained to the distressed agent that they were in a bit of a delay caused by an emergency patient.
Grinding her teeth together against the pain, which only succeeded in more pain, Diana retreated to her place, only to find that it was now taken. Squeezing her eyes shut, she slowly banged her head against the wall, fully concentrating on her beginning headache. She was so entranced with this movement that she nearly jumped when the assistant touched her shoulder, "It's okay, Miss Fowley, you can go in now." Out of the corner of her eye, Diana saw her shaking her head and rolling her eyes over such an annoying patient.
But the next shock was right ahead. Entering the office, Diana immediately saw that this was not her usual dentist - red hair, quite short... this could only mean....
"But... but... I didn't know you where a dentist!" Diana spluttered.
Dana Scully smiled sweetly, "I'm variable, you know. Just standing in for an old college buddy..." She ignored Diana's frightened expression. "If you will just sit down..." She maneuvered her horrified looking colleague into the chair. "I can fully understand your fear of dentists... If you knew of the things I have experienced in a dentist's chair... You read that case file about that German guy, Gerry Schnautz? You know, he tied me to such a thing and tried to lobotomize me."
Diana's expression changed from fright to plain horror as Scully began to sort through her instruments and picked up a long and sharp one that bore not only slight resemblance to a leucotom. Fortunately for her it turned out to be nothing but a large syringe.
"You want a local or a full sedation, Agent Fowley?"
Diana loved syringes no more than dentists. "Aaaahh.... well... full."
Scully smiled to herself. This only made things easier. With an agonizing *plop* she pulled the cap off of the needle, "Open your mouth, please."
To her infinite relief, Diana didn't even feel the needle digging into her jawbone, and seconds later, she was out cold. Scully allowed herself a self-satisfied grin before she began preparing her instruments. Ready with that, she called for her assistant and told her to send the waiting patients home and take the rest of the day off, this would take a *lot* of time.
Upon awaking, Diana found herself cuffed to the chair, her mouth held open by metal jaws.
"Wht th hll... cully? Damn t, wht ar you doin to m?"
That only earned her another cat-in-the-cream-pot smile. "You know, Agent Fowley, it is never wise start rumors about other people..."
Diana almost fainted again when she realized what Scully was talking about. She and Agent Spender had recently gone through the newer X-files, the ones which hadn't been stored in the basement and that way escaped the fire. She had been surprised to find out a few things about Agent Scully, and as they had discussed it, Agent Compton had accidentally overheard them...
"Bt... A ddn't da it purpsely..."
"You maybe shouldn't have read the file in the first place." Scully's smile stayed plastered to her lips, while her eyes were steely blue. "So you're here because of what? Wisdom teeth?"
"Yesh..." The word disappeared in a pained groan. "Wht th hll dd a git thi sidation fr?"
Scully's smile widened. "To knock you out and tie you down, of course. What did you think? So come on, let me start!" She reached for the drill.
The next hour was *very* painful for Diana. Scully had to drill away a good deal of bone to get the lower right tooth out, and Diana screamed deafeningly.
Scully didn't let herself get distracted by the screams and kept on talking. "You know, it's no good idea to keep your wisdom teeth that long, especially if your jawbone is as narrow as it is... You risk getting serious problems... they may grow out sideways, leading to half your mouth getting inflamed... or they can push all your teeth together, so you end up with them piling all up in front...very painful in any case... Okay, we're done."
Her last statement evoked a relieved sigh from Diana, but Scully quickly and cheerfully crushed any rising hopes, "But the worst is yet to come!"
Diana realized how right that was faster than she wanted, when Scully started to poke around in the wound to get the tooth out. "Bad news," she announced with a bright smile that contradicted her words. "I'll have to split it!"
At this point the leucotom-like thing came to work. Scully drilled a little groove into the tooth - this part was not too hurtful, as it didn't hit any nerves, but then she began to crack it apart, and Diana's high-pitched screams were truly ear-killing and brain-numbing. She still screamed on when Scully was long finished.
Rolling her eyes, Scully reached for the second syringe she had prepared and jammed it into Diana's arm vein.
With a relieved groan, she uncuffed her once again knocked out patient. A few minutes later, Diana awoke from her sedation, with a heavy sigh, "Are you ready? Is the damn tooth gone?"
Scully had great difficulties to hold back her chuckle. "You can go now, Agent Fowley. Here, I've prepared a prescription for some pain killers."
Diana was hardly out the door when Scully dissolved in helpless laughter.
